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Do you think I was only to blame? I feel like crying.

12.6K views
asked Aug 1, 2014 in Questions by treesed (185 points)
edited Aug 1, 2014 by longhands1

I am a 23 year old guy. My bhabhi (cousin brother’s wife), wanted me to teach her son who is 13 years old. My bhabi is 38 years, attractive and has two kids. My brother and bhabhi have a troubled marital life.

My bhabi told me one day, that she hates to live in that house as she is unhappy and had not had sex for three months. I did not know how to react. I told her that I could help if she needs to masturbate with porn. The problem was that I was getting horny and feeling the urge to fuck her. But I didn't want to make the first move.

One evening she called me to her bedroom and asked me to sleep next to her and while I was sleeping she started rubbing her legs against mine and slowly moved up to the crotch area. She took my hand and started forcefully rubbing her pussy and suddenly got up as she climaxed and told me that I should not sleep next to her from now on.

I told her it was pretty normal since she wanted it badly and I was horny being 23. She disagreed and said her conscience would not allow her. The next afternoon we were watching TV and again it happened. I grabbed her breasts and pleasured her. But she again felt guilty and shouted at me. My self-respect was hurt but I thought she was the only friend I had and since I was lonely, I apologised and made up. I enjoyed spending time with her and hated her when she would crib about her relationship issues and try to cheer her up. I was the shoulder to cry on and her punching bag.

I used to meet her at her place and slowly she started touching me again and I left no opportunity and started smooching her, pleasuring her and at the same time she allowed me to touch her body. I sensed that I was being tracked by the servant, but I bribed him to keep his mouth shut. My mama, mami and my brother would be in the office, so I used to enjoy between 4-6 pm.

One day we met outside and she called me home. There was no one at home. She locked me in the room, undressed herself and lured me to have fun. This happened many times again. Each time, she made me happier and pleasured me and performed fellatio and 69. I was consumed in lust and swayed into her world of sex. It was new. It was amazing. I did feel guilty but the power of sex overshadowed my guilt.

Once, when I was about to leave the room, I saw Mami sitting outside. She called my brother and we were caught semi nude in the room. I managed to lie and escaped. I asked the servant whether my brother had any doubt. He denied.

Later I came to know my brother was playing a dirty game on me. He was hoping to divorce my bhabi, and the only way he could save himself from alimony was to prove her character in court. He wanted custody of kids and to kick her out. He had asked the servant to tempt me in coming to that house on a particular day. He planned with his mother and gave us ample space to "perform" so that we fall into his trap.  
 

On this fateful day, I was told that my brother had left for Bangalore and the house was empty. My bhabhi called me into her room and undressed, asking me to go down on her. Within 2 minutes there was a knock on the door. I ran to the loo, and brother broke open the door and found bhabhi naked. Then the servant filmed her nude and me inside the loo. He informed our parents and I was made to look like shit. But the funny part is that he has no plans to divorce her and is not willing to forgive me. My bhabi is now denying that she did anything and putting all the blame on me. I do not exist for them. I realised lust destroys the best of relationships. I want my bhabhi who was my only friend back in my life.

I am feeling messed up and guilty. I do not know what to do next. Please help. Will I be able to resolve this? I am very emotional and feel like crying.

 

(Readers, This question or Essay was 3 pages long. I have edited it. I am left wondering whether it was a Story or a genuine question. I leave you to decide).

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commented Aug 1, 2014 by kapilh (1,015 points)
reshown Aug 2, 2014 by longhands1
treesed ,
its a nice story , please post in ISS  with full 3 pages.



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1 Answer

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Best answer

"Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive." So says Shakespeare. And a tangled web you've certainly been caught in!!!!

As far as I can see, your best course of action is to get a job (idling around in your sister in law's house is what got you into this mess in the first place; they say "the devil finds work for idle hands" and you certainly were the devils plaything weren't you!!!), and move away. You've managed to alienate your family by your stupidity, and the only way you can do something to give them any reason to forgive you is by standing on your own two feet and doing something worthwhile. At the moment you are wallowing in self pity and whining about your sister in law as if she's the love of your life, taken away from you. Get a grip, in reality, she's your brother's wife, not yours at all. What's going on in their marriage is not your business.  I suggest you read what you wrote to us, and then think about the dishonesty you showed, never mind about anyone else's motives. You were driven by selfish lust, to the point where you are bribing servants, sneaking around, and making a fool of your own brother, you were a real viper in the nest!!! If your brother has changed his mind and forgiven his wife, that's their business; maybe he realises that children need a mother, whatever, it's nothing to do with you.

Now, stop with this self pitying BS and get out and earn a living and be a man, not a snivelling spoilt child.

Salma

answered Aug 1, 2014 by sexysalma (14,920 points)
selected Aug 1, 2014 by treesed
commented Aug 1, 2014 by treesed (185 points)
Salma, thank you for taking out time to reply. I feel you have answered just from a female's perspective. I am just a kid in front of them. Bhabhi knew very well I was developing a soft corner for her and was gettimg emotionally attached. She  was having more fun than me on bed. She used to invite herself and was very open to fool around with me. In fact I was the one who would be a little guilty. You like a typical woman ,championed me to be idle...but did u at once realise if people at 40 and 50 and 60 get horny and leave no stone unturned for sex ...then m just in my early 20s . if I won't get driven by lust at this age then nature should probably castrate me and feed my balls to the stray dogs.

If people twice my age are hungry for sex ..it is very natural for me to get hold of this opportunity and bang herwhen she was askmg for it.

Women make you drool over them. But u have to control yourself and ask the poor lady to wear her clothes since its making my manhood strong. salma..if am a viper in the nest then my brother is no saint.  He's the root cause for the trouble . I was just dragged in . yes my only flaw. I couldn't resist. But salma ..I got a cock..blood runs in it. If a girl strips..u are to fuck her..not analyse what's happening. When sex is taking over you. You never realize the consequences. You gave a pretty biased reply. Thanks sexy salma.
commented Aug 1, 2014 by sexysalma (14,920 points)

Late get something very clear here, if you know this woman is your brother's wife (as you knew very well), surely your fraternal feelings for your brother should scream out loud and clear "THIS IS WRONG!!!!" But you went ahead and did it anyway; and then you try to tell us he's the bad guy because he wanted evidence of his wife's faithfulness? Sorry, but by what twisted logic do you justify your actions? Both you and Bhabi are equally guilty, but you have betrayed your own brother, and I'm sure he finds that the bitterness pill to swallow. He will never be able to look at you again without feeling a sense of betrayal. 

Bhabi deserves no Pleasanton for what she's done, but if your brother has decided to live with what she did, that's up to him. The circumstances that led to her infidelityhave not been made clear, so we can't say much about that, but between you and her, there's no difference in the treachery, whatever way you try to dress it up.

Salma

commented Aug 2, 2014 by treesed (185 points)
I knew by enjoying with her I was definitely doing wrong to my brother. She was inviting me to touch her and pleasure her because she like the way she could dominate me on bed and probably because my foreplay was awesome( I dont intend to brag ).

The topic to be discussed here is that my bhabhi was hungry for sex and that was obvious since bro was away fucking the entire world but her. She was neglected and in that state she found comfort in me . She gave me a green signal to touch her and her sexual advances were subtle but hard to refuse.

She was attractive and when a woman touches you and comes all over you, you are obviously in a dilemma. I was stuck between a rock and hard place. One side it was her pleasure and my lust and on the other the guilt asking me to stay away. This was the main reason I couldn't perform ( couldn't achieve an erection) .

When a woman gives you a blow job , guilt goes for a walk. A long walk. The reason for her infidelity was my brothers acts. He has never been there for her. He himself is having an extra marital affair with a woman 12 years elder to him. SSohis hands are eyually dirty. Its just that it hurt his ego when his own wife gave it back to him and in a way he was helpless. Karma fucked him. Just likei was deceived by the servant.

The bottom line is if my bro would understand and deal the situation more maturely by knowing well that I was too young too refuse an offer like this things would be in a better shape. My parents are with me. They hate him and mami for seizing opportunity and deriving personal benefits like divorcing with. MINIMUM alimony( which he aspired since 4 years)

No one is perfect ,everyone makes mistakes. If she can make at 38 . I can a 23. And please the kind of human my bro is ..let's not conclude hes the first disciple of The God .

I am just saying instead of talking it iyt with me or his wife he laid a stupid ploy to film us red handed. He got pics in diff frames anfand plus he has to live with a woman whose been exposed nude in front of a servant. Must say my bro has strong love for his wife.Wow.

Each of us were at fault. If I broke his trust. His wife was an offer I could not refuse. Any guy at this age would do the same thing. He should go into the depth of situation and not just claim himself to be pious and make me feel all guilty.

To top it all I had the balls to go up to him after a month and apologise to him for what happened . Bhabhi on whatsapp put the blame on me and considered me to be the one who seduced her.( 23 vs 36. LOL. - that's what women do when thevfun is over_)

My bro acted all arrogant and told my parents he was in trauma and not ready to face me. I saw them in a night club partying hard the previous night. Trauma my fucking balls.

I wrote an apology letter stating am sorry for my immaturity and stupidity. He didn't respond. I wrote a second letter a month later asking him to meet me and hear me out. He called me to his office. I asked me to meet me at home because the kind of person he is my life was in danger in his territory.he refused to show up.

I admit I got swayed .I made a grave mistake. But I just feel each of us made a mistake and each of us had selfish motives.  I m the only one apologising and asking them to reconcile.

Bhabhi ,guess she gave him sex and brainwashed him. That's what women do best. I don't hate her or expect her to be any different. I know she's a nice person Amd will always will be.

Just don't like the way you have portrayed me in this entire picture. The mess isn't  just my share of wrong. Its a collective thing. So salma am I a bad character less person or just a normal guy. I regret my deed. But they did greater wrong to me then I to them.

Ask a woman an she says I m at 40% fault bhabhi 40% and my bro 20%.
Ask a single man and he would say bhabhi 60  and bro 30 and I 10%

Ask a married woman Amd probably she would give me a reply close to yours. Except my mom. Lol weird and funny. Be a little broad minded salma. I have betrayed him ? He hasn't betrayed my mom? My mom raised him and this is how he treats me !! He hasn't betrayed wife earlier?

Karma gave me what I deserve. The servant betrayed me too. I lost her. I don't give a fuck about my brother. The sleazeball and his family should probably be in a flight like Malaysian airlines MH380 . Fucked and Forgotten.
commented Aug 2, 2014 by abcd768 (100 points)
You know, salma, if you were really a counsellor, worth your salt, you would not write stuff such as viper in the nest in the above situation. You're just any other feminist who hates men who accept their faults and show that theyre sorry for them. You are living in an idealistic world in which this guy is to be blamed for everything. I agree with most of your points, but as a counsellor worth her salt, you would not let emotions ride your reply but you would instead message this guy privately and ask him to know more. You're living in an idealistic world apparently where making mistakes and moving on is not an option. If you were really the counsellor this website paid you to at least pretend as, you would approach such a sensitive situation with more open mindedness. You would have wanted to talk to him in person about it. You would not have blatantly put down a judgement which seems so much filled with your own opinions and perceptions. You, being such a counsellor, would know that face to face communication in such cases would help more than just an anonymous finger typing away on the keyboard.

Had I been in your place, I would have been open minded about it. I would have asked him about every detail that led to this happening. The boy wants to cry, for god's sake! He's 23 years old and the Bhabhi and her family were way older than him. You're right he needs to get a job. You're also right that the Bhabhi was to be blamed. You're even right when you say that it is a form of treachery. But you're very much wrong and alluding the impression that youre some fake nanny from the 70s who loves quoting shakespeare. Well, I would like to quote these from myself for this guy here which you need to learn too:

"People make mistakes. That's what we do! Don't crib about it! Move on!"

And to add som support :

"People find it far easier to forgive others for being wrong than being right."

"Humans do have a knack of choosing precisely those things that are worst for them."

"Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike."

All of the above by Albums Dumbledore, from Harry Potter. Read the books. Maybe that'll change your perceptions. Have a nice day. :)
commented Aug 2, 2014 by sexysalma (14,920 points)

​ In the first place, I'm not a councillor, never claimed to be one, secondly, I am voicing an opinion, just as you are, and if you disagree with me, that's your right. My original comments were based on his original question, and my subsequent reply was based on what he said to me. He had every opportunity to send comments to me by PM, as did you, but he responded publicly, and I therefore did the same. 

As I only heard his point of view, I can only comment based on one side of this mess, since the other parties have not had a chance to give their side in this sorry saga. He has betrayed his brother, and she betrayed her husband. We are talking about a man of 23, not a 15 year old school boy, so let's not pretend he's some wide eyed innocent here. He knows what's right and whats wrong. The woman maybe starved of sex, and, we discover (in his later comment, not the original question) that her husband is fucking his way around India. Does it make her actions right? No, two wrongs don't make a right. Does it make her behaviour understandable? Maybe, its hard to live without sex, I know I couldn't. Should any of them be forgiven, well, since you like a good quote, here's one that fits the occasion.

 

"To err is human, to forgive is divine." 

 

So, yes, they should all forgive, but our friend goes on to say he he's tried to talk to his brother, but feels threatened to venture into his territory. He also shows scant real contrition, so I don't see any real forgiveness on either side where the brothers are concerned. The person who appears to have nothing to say is the wife, and that doesn't surprise me much, given that She's keeping her head down, wishing she'd had more sense than she showed in seducing her brother in law, who tells us he advertises to resist this Aphrodite' s powers of seduction, she must be a veritable godess!!!.

I may be a feminist in your eyes, but so what? Are we still supposed to stay in the kitchen and never dare to venture an opinion? Sorry, but whatever way you look at this saga, what happened was wrong. He asked for advice, and I gave it, he tried to justify his behaviour, and that required comment. He didn't like some of my views, well that's fine, but it doesnt alter the fact that he was wrong to do what he did, and the others were wrong too but that wasn't part of his original question. 

​ By the way, none of the editors are experts, and we're all unpaid volunteers. We try to give honest answers, but we don't claim to be the font of universal wisdom. If other people disagree, well, that's okay by me, and maybe the other editors take the same view, but I would never presume to speak for any of them, they're perfectly able to speak for themselves.

As for reading Harry Potter, I prefer stories written for adults, rather than children's stories; I'd suggest, if you are a fan of J K Rowling, try her adult aimed literature, she is a very good writer.

I have no intention to make any further comment on this topic, but by all means PM me if you have anything further to say.

Salma.

 

 

 

 

commented Aug 2, 2014 by longhands1 (68,110 points)

abcd,

Let me step in and clear some of your mis-conceptions. None of us are "Councillors" in ther sense you are implying. You as a Reader are a Councillor too. The uniqueness of this Site is that everyone gets to express his/her views and opinions. You will agree that sometimes the bluntness hurts, but it is the truth and sometimes the truth is not palatable.

None of us gets paid a single coin for the efforts we put in, though the Owners of this Site will be pleased with your presumption. 

We encourage the Questioner to wait for atleast 5-6 replies, before choosing the Best Answer, as once chosen, others cannot reply with Answers but only post comments. We can only guide, but if a Reader in his enthusiasm, choses the only Answer he got as the Best, there is not much we can do.

I, personally would like to see your active participation by providing Answers to the Questions asked. What is Knowledge if it is not shared? 

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