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My Step dad is having sex with my sister. What should I do?

–1 vote
15.6K views
asked Sep 3, 2014 in Questions by truebyheart (120 points)
edited Sep 3, 2014 by longhands1

Hi,

I am new on this Site. My questions are at the end, but let me give you a background about my life.

I am 22 years old, male from north India. I belong to a financially affluent family. My father has his own business and prospering. My sister and I were born at the same time but we are not twins.

When we were around 12 years, our mother also started her own business and my parents were busy in their own work. They were not able to spent much time with us. So, most times my sister and I were left to ourselves. Since we were of the same age we understood each other and just used to hang around with each other although. We had friends but we liked each others' company. In those 2 years we became very close to each other. We would play, eat, study and literally do everything together. We would share our feelings, thoughts and were very frank with each other.

At 14 years of age we ventured into the world of porn. That was a new experience for both of us.
We would watch it for hours, but never did anything amoral with each other. Whenever my sister felt like masturbating, she would just order me to get out of room and would only call me when she had finished. We both found the hidden pleasure beneath our underpants and this went on for a year and so.

Actually, all this freedom and porn made my sister attracted to sex, more than me. One day, she told me that she wanted to have sex, and that she had made a friend and he too wanted to have it .The guy was 19 then and we were around 15 and a half. Having watched American shows/movies and lots of porn we had developed very open and frank personality. So, I said that if she wants to then she could do whatever pleases her. This guy came over to our house a few days later and they had sex, while I was in the drawing room playing video game. After the guy left my sister called me and told me about her experience - that it was painful, but she would like to do it again. So this started and they had sex almost daily. I knew what was happening behind those doors but I minded my own business.

As time passed my sister's hunger for sex also increased, she would change boyfriends every two months or so and had numerous affairs, all of them sexual. I was the other side of the coin doing my own stuff, but I was always with her. She would still share everything with me.

The thing is we don't know what happened but our parents filed for divorce  2 and a half years ago and got divorced 6 months ago. Being influenced by the western culture and having an open mind me and my sister didn't made a big issue out of that once our parents told us that it was important for all of us. Our mom got the house and we decided to stay with our mom. Only two month later our mom let us know her decision of marrying again. The guy was around 30, our mom was 43. We were initially not happy, but I reasoned to myself, that mom had all the right in the world to live the way she wants. They had a court marriage and our step dad started to live with us. I had no particular feeling towards him, so I didn't worry about knowing him and we had a casual relationship.

A few days ago I was not feeling well, so I decided to go home early in afternoon. We all possess house key so that we wouldn't need to ring the bell.  I entered and as I was passing the stairs, I heard a faint voice and figured out that it must my sister having sex with one of her boyfriends. I was in my room when mom called me and after knowing that I was at home asked me to do some errands and before hanging up also told me that Step dad was at home that day.

I felt something fishy was going on. So, I walked upstairs without making noise and realized that the door was open, I slowly opened the door and got the shock of my life. My Sister was completely naked with my Step Dad. She had his dick in her mouth and was giving him a blow job. My sister saw me and instead of panicking she smiled at me and continued what she was doing. I ran from there as soon as I got my consciousness back, picked my bike and drove, I don't know where. For two days I didn't go to home. I felt so strange and weird that, I have no words to explain. I got my friend to phone home so that my mom didn't freak out about my absence .

After two days, I went home and decided to question my sister. Instead she questioned me about my absence. I did not answer and took her to my room and demanded explanation about what I had seen. She said she liked the company of step dad and soon they realized that they were sexually attracted to each other and so had sex. She told me it was not a big deal for her and shouldn't be for me too and she would like to keep doing that and also told me not to tell mom..

I don't know what I should do. I am completely out of my mind. I have a few questions which I desperately need answers for:

Should I tell my mom about this? But my sister asked me not to.

What if my sister gets pissed off if I tell mom? I can't risk that because I love her more than anything else in my life.

Should I let them do what they are doing?

Is there a possibility that my step dad is using my sister for some personal gains?

What if he exploits my sister physically like forcing her to have sex with his friends in future?

 

I don't know whom to ask so here, I am hoping for some sincere answers. Please don't give derogatory remarks about my sister. Thanks for listening so patiently.

Please click on the Link below and also complete your Profile if not done.

http://www.askanjali.com/100574/communication-from-the-chief-editor

http://www.askanjali.com/104032/what-is-the-process-of-approving-and-rejecting-questions?show=104032#q104032

 

commented Sep 3, 2014 by abhi14343 (1,835 points)
nice story of your imagination dont ask suck questions again ok
commented Sep 3, 2014 by truebyheart (120 points)
You can think whatever u want .. life is full of complexity.. and if u don't want to answer then please don't comment too
commented Sep 9, 2014 by hon (920 points)
as almost everybody has suggested the best thing you can do is lay low and let time decide what happens next there isn't much you can do about it,you could talk to your step dad but for that you must be in a position to dominate him.
meanwhile talk to your sister and convince her to practice safe sex in secrecy(as she has already made clear that she is not going to stop)
just think of him as some yet another sexual fling of your sister.

best wishes



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8 Answers

0 votes

truebyheart,

I understand the trauma that you are going through, but must commend you for handling the situation maturely till now. You have given us a detailed background, which will help us base our solutions on that.

The damage has already been done and any fire fighting exercise that you may now undertake has the potential of flaming the fumes further. It is clear from your passage that you have an inseparable bond with your sister and hats off to you that in spite of your closeness to her, you have never tried to take sexual advantage of her.

I can visualize your deep hatred and contempt for your Step dad. Even the title of your question suggests that your step dad is to blame as he is taking advantage of your sister and not the other way around. This is no time for a moral lecture, but time to see how best you can handle the situation.

Firstly, your sister is an adult and is aware of her responsibilities and the consequences of her actions. As a loving brother, you have already sounded your concerns. Things are not likely to change. Since your Step Dad is relatively young, there is an element of lust in the relationship. You have mentioned that your dear sister, has had innumerable flings and you were fine with that. This however is closer home and affects the people who mean something to you.

By complaining to your mum, how will things change? On the contrary you will alienate your step dad (who means nothing to you), you will antagonize your sister (who means everything to you), and you are not aware of how your mother will react. I say, lie low.

Your sister having sex with her step dad, is not morally the same as would be if she was having sex with her father which then would be incestual and even a crime. This is the time your sister needs your support and much as you hate doing it, just be there, without doing anything that will create a situation. On the one hand you want to protect your sister, but on the other she has implicitly told you that she does not want you to interfere (do not tell mom).  

Be prepared for your mother finding out about this affair. Such things never remain a secret for long. It is at that time, that you will need to take a stand – did you know about this affair or didn’t you? If you did, why did you not tell her at that time? I leave that decision to you. Your conscience or your love for your sister?

Your fears about your step father using your sister for immoral reasons are unfounded. Do not think that much ahead. Remember your sister is as much part of this scenario as your step dad. Think of it as sexual lust and let it lie.      

While this episode may not have a happy ending, there are some situations in life which are beyond one’s control. All you can do is pray. 

answered Sep 3, 2014 by longhands1 (56,975 points)
commented Sep 3, 2014 by truebyheart (120 points)
First of all i would like to thank u for taking out ur precious time from ur busy schedule . I read what u wrote up there and got the point you made. I better lay low since my sis has no qualms of her deed and actually i know about some crazy stuff she had done outside the house. I agree that it is pure lust and nothing else and might fade away with time .. I'm hoping mother won't know about that bcoz it will hurt my mom more than anything else. And i had a talk with my sis last night after reading out ur response and she told me that she was not thinking of stopping it as she like to have sex with someone she can trust within the comfort of house but nevertheless assured me that she will be more careful in future .
thnx again
commented Sep 3, 2014 by longhands1 (56,975 points)

truebyheart,

There are a few things which you are hoping will happen will not happen. The affair will not fade away with time. It will get stronger, till she marries and leaves the house. Expect some messy abortions if they are not careful. A mature father figure who has the moolah and whose presence at home will not cause a scandal will always be brtter than a  struggling young man, where place for sex is always an issue.

Your mother will know in time. How she reacts will set the next course of action.

0 votes
Stay out of your sister’s business, as you have no moral right to stop her or to worry about her. Moreover, if you raise objections your sister will react differently and that too against you so it is better not to interfere in her affair. Do not let your mom to know about their affairs, as it is also risky for your sister as your step dad will easily get out of the matter and will put all blame to your sister. You have to do something only when she asks for your help until that think normally. If you have problem with situation then stay alone as you said your family is financially sound. The moment your step dad forced your sister to have sex with his friends, whom you have fear for that, come into actions in such situation and ask help from your real dad. You cannot make your sister pursue for not have relationship with your stepfather as for her it is easy way to get sex within family and she might consider this is safe.
answered Sep 3, 2014 by alpesh kapdi (17,950 points)
commented Sep 3, 2014 by truebyheart (120 points)
thanks for taking time to my question but first of all i want to ask u --("as you have no moral right to stop her or to worry about her")---- why did u say that ? what amoral have i done? can u explain?

second you are right i should not let my mom know about all this and i should stay away and keep an eye on them and if i feel something fishy then i should venture in the matter. I better not involve dad in that as he also married again and is busy in his life and yes you are right i cannot stop her.

thnx for ur response
commented Sep 4, 2014 by alpesh kapdi (17,950 points)
Let me ask you a counter question and answer it, you will find your answer, why did your sister not feel shame or embarrass when you saw her having sex with your step-dad?
You encourage and allow her to go for sex therefore for you it is wrong to have sex with your step-dad but for her it is not same thing. Your step-dad is a sexual object for your sister.
commented Sep 4, 2014 by truebyheart (120 points)
look i really don't know why she didn't panicked that time may be because she's really frank with me and may be because she had done this kind of stuff with her bfs at house many times before in my presence so may be she thought that it won't be a big deal for me..... and yes step dad is a sexual object for her bcoz she never loved any of her bfs although she had sex with them frequently SO yes she's doing it just for her pleasure and there's nothing like love or feeling etc. The only person she truly loves is me and i am glad for that..
+1 vote

What a difficult situation you are in. If you tell your mum you drive a rift with your sister. If you keep quiet, you effectively condone her behaviour, and give tacit approval for her to continue with step dad!!! I'm glad I'm not in your position.

​ The step dad is also playing a role in all this, and you could take him to one side and tell him that you will expose him if it doesn't stop. He may tell your sister that you have threatened exposure, but hopefully, he'll just break the affair by pretending that he feels guilty for betraying his wife, as men hate to admit that they are submitting to threats.

Do you carry out your threat if they continue their activities? You still have the dilemma of hurting people you love. Also, do you want your mum to remain married to the kind of man who would do what this guy us doing behind her back. And does your sister really deserve your loyalty when shes betraying her own mother, and making you her accomplice?

Salma

answered Sep 3, 2014 by sexysalma (14,820 points)
commented Sep 4, 2014 by truebyheart (120 points)
A very hearty thanks for taking time and responding . I think u made a good point here about having one on one talk with step dad . I never thought that . I guess it might be the step to take but i don't think i should go right away and just threaten him like that . I have to find the right opportunity maybe collecting some evidence first and if i will be able to his any affairs except with my sis then that would be damn good . Then i can expose him in front of my mom and get him throw out of our house and my sis's life. And i get to keep my loving relation with my sis too .
THNX A TON
0 votes

Hi,

After reading through your post, i realise the question here is not what you should but it is what you want to do. As it is quite evident that in your family it is your sister with whom you have the maximum bonding & connection hence you don't want to alienate her y reporting this matter to your mother, at the same time you want your step father to stop having sex with your sister, it is a classic catch 22 situation, you have to decide whose heart you want to break your mother's or your sisters. As otherwise suggested you can even try confronting your step father, it can also lead to the desired result, but other than this you have very limited option since it is quite evident that your sister is in no mood to listen to whatever your wanted to say. So make up your mind as to what you want to do, you can always wink it off & let things happen as they are. To be very frank at the end of the day whatever suggestions we give it you who have to decide on it & face the situation!!!!!!!!!!!

answered Sep 3, 2014 by Sudeep Mohan (3,065 points)
commented Sep 4, 2014 by truebyheart (120 points)
thanks for your kind response... i know i have two ways-- first to let the things be the way they are or second to change the course .... i decided to change the course and as i commented above i will expose him , i will find a way and the day i got some strong evidence in my hand will be his last day in our life.
thnx
commented Sep 4, 2014 by Sudeep Mohan (3,065 points)

Don't you have enough proof? you wrote you saw them in the act, so if you have decided then what are you waiting for..............? If you wait, as you fear your step Dad might have already implemented his sinister plans if any................!!!!!!!

0 votes
Dear truebyheart,


    Dude the best way is to get away from it. You ignored numerous affairs of your sister and ignore this one too just like another affair.

    If you complaint abiut this to your mother then she would definitely ask you why you shouldn't tell her about previous affairs. Your sister now have a habit of changing sexual partner. She got open minded abiut this and she takes every men as sex buddy now as reflects from her behaviour.

    Your stepdad is 30, quite young so its normal she get attracted to him. I think you siater is quite grown so that understand but is wrong for her or not. She understands what to do or not. So it is better if you stay out of it because its your sister who indulged in it. She does this with her consent not by forcement.
answered Sep 9, 2014 by Manoj4u (6,080 points)
0 votes
all you can do is to have talk one on one talk with step dad .that will be the step to take but i don't think i should go right away and just threaten him like that . I have to find the right opportunity maybe collecting some evidence first and if i will be able to his any affairs except with my sis then that would be damn good . Then i can expose him in front of my mom and get him throw out of our house and my sis's life. And i get to keep my loving relation with my sis too .
answered Aug 3, 2015 by BARRY1 (120 points)
0 votes
what i think is..your sister is a slut..she should not make sexual relation with her step dad...its totally wrong
answered Aug 15, 2015 by lover1331 (110 points)
0 votes
I think its all cool, and you can keep it that way by keeping your mouth shut. Try yoga for relaxation or maybe take a holiday?
answered May 23, 2016 by Lavender (215 points)

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