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Should I marry my boyfriend if I found out that he is a gigolo?

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asked Feb 18, 2015 in Questions by mileyroy (120 points)
edited Feb 18, 2015 by longhands1

I met Dip (not his real name) almost a year ago at a corporate party, organised by a reputed HR company in Kolkata. Little could I imagine that this handsome young executive might had been living a secret life that – Dip might have been a male prostitute!

This disturbing possibility was first revealed by a colleague of mine. She is ten years senior to me and like a big sister in this harsh corporate world. She noticed the fact that Dip was being friendly towards me. Dip & I talked for a while. After that, my colleague whispered to me that Dip is a gigolo.

I definitely thought it was a joke, but she was serious! She told me that Dip used a pseudonym to sell his body. He was most active during 2004-2009 in and around Kolkata, and he was much sought after by fifty-plus frustrated housewives. According to her, Dip may still be in the prostitution business, but his clientele is much reduced, thanks to the competition from new hot gigolos of Kolkata.

I could not protest her, neither had the courage to ask her how on earth she knew so much! Was she also a client of Dip? Maybe. This might be the reason she warned me about Dip- she definitely did not want her sister to fall for a man who might have been selling his manhood for some thousand bucks.

I was curious to say the least. I had talked to Dip later on that evening just to verify these claims! Dip did look like perfect gigolo material, I must admit. Yet something was wrong in his behaviour. I read somewhere that gigolos treated women with civility. Gigolos do not gaze at women’s cleavage or try to touch them indecently.

Dip’s behaviour was, simply speaking, none of that! He stared at my breasts while we talked, rubbed his arm accidentally against my nipples and touched my groin for more than a moment in an excuse to escort me! This is highly unbecoming of a professional sex worker. This had put the seed of doubt in my mind – was Dip really a gigolo?

Since then I've developed a soft corner for him, but can't decide my mind whether to propose to a guy who might be a male prostitute? What will be the consequences? What if my parents find out?

 

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5 Answers

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Dear

First understand that being a prostitute in India is illegal. So he will face hammer of  law once in a while. You can not avoid this truth.

Next is that if you love some one really apart from lust then you will be ready to sacrifice for him or her. So should be true if your man loves to you.

He should be ready to change and move forward with you if he really loves you

Take this test and you will get all the answers

You can judge this situation best rather than anyone else

Good luck
answered Feb 18, 2015 by DrAKumar (250 points)
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Make sure that your conclusion is true before determining  to propose him. If your assumptions/findings  are true about him being male prostitute or so called gigolo then certainly you should not look for long-term relationship with him.

Take a help of your friend to prove her accusations and set up a plan where your friend would hire him for sex, this way you will get clear idea about his profession. There is no need to propose him at this moment. Let the time pass and observe the feedback. If he proposes you then you can ask your reservations  about the rumors being rounded about him.

You should not be in hurry. Be careful, as he might be very much into male prostitute line of work.
answered Feb 18, 2015 by alpesh kapdi (21,515 points)
edited Feb 18, 2015 by prashant69
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Dear Miley,

Below points of my thought. As I want to avoid either/or types of responses, so that you can clear decision. But I have limited knowledge about male prostitutes. So my response is based on generic male behavior in Indian society. I am presuming you boyfriend is a gigolo.

a) We dont consider this trade as a profession both culturally or legally.

b) Even then, if some one has jumped into this business, it may be due to compelling circumstances. You have not mentioned, if that guy has any other job now. Suppose he was compelled into this trade, may be if he is supported by you both financially and morally after marriage, he will quit this to dedicate himself to you. So analyze his past situations.

c) As many Indian men maintain double standards (me to upto certain extent) in human relationship, don't judge by his superficial behavior , but get facts about him by any other means.

d) If you are looking at a "virgin" boy in all senses, just don't marry this guy, so that you avoid any future repenting in this matter. Very hard to get such boys given current trends and the environment you mentioned:)
But if you are not bothered, no problems, you can consider

e) If he is gigolo, there is every chance that high might have lost thrill in sex. So you should be prepared for the same, unless you are highly confident to bring him back to track :)

Hope this helps
answered Feb 18, 2015 by coolncute (815 points)
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my dear yound girl try to avoid the risky things in life pl do not play with your life - u seems to be a good professional girl and what makes you to risk your life

take more time to avoid mostly or you may feel more trouble in long run
in first instance itself he took negative advantage and u have to be more cautious
do not risk your life n the rest is yours
answered Oct 17, 2016 by ramanravi (185 points)
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I am not quite clear as to what is bothering you. Is it that he had sex with other women or that he got paid by them? In either case it does not matter so long as it was in the past. If you are happy with him stay with him, if not leave him. Sometimes its as simple as that
answered Oct 19, 2016 by steppen (260 points)
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