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Can you give us Advise on Swapping and Swinging?

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asked Nov 18, 2015 in Questions by coupleindia10 (180 points)
We are a married couple since 5 years and get kind of bored due to routine sex. We both watched porn for sometime to spice up our life. From these porn films we got the idea of swapping and swinging life style. We discussed about it between us and agreed to try.

Pls advise is it right to do so? What other alternatives / options we can try?



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7 Answers

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You have not mentioned your age and about your family background. If you both are very open minded and absolutely ok with this life style which is very common in cities and your kids are not above 10 years of age, you both can try this with suitable like minded couples of your age group.

We will not recommend you to go for a full swap in the begining. You can start with SRSP, soft swap, then if all are comfortable then only full swap.Then if you both are absolutely comfortable to continue with the life style, you both can enter in to the world of swingers and connect with more suitable like minded couples.

In our opinion as long as husband and wife are ok with the lifestyle and kids are below 10 yrs of age, married couples can make wonderful events with other like minded married couples by exchanging their partners and make sex life more spicy and adventurous .
answered Nov 19, 2015 by meenaag (125 points)
edited Nov 19, 2015 by longhands1
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Coupleindia,

Swapping is a lifestyle that once started is difficult to stop. You will need to think about the consequences very seriously. If you think it is a one off thing, it is not. You will keep experimenting and your husband will keep demanding that you experiment.

The most difficult stage is to get your wife to agree. It is a long process and you will need to find out the right couple/partner. This takes time and many meetings outside the home, till all 4 agree on the suitability of partners. It is easy for the man to have sex with a stranger, but requires some bonding for a woman to sleep with another man.  

There are some dangerous pitfalls in this lifestyle. Jealousy is one of them. At some point, if you are all together, you may feel that your husband is paying more attention to his partner than to you. Or he may feel that you are moaning louder with his friend. This may create a rift when you are both having an argument and one of you brings up this topic.

STDs and HIV are a constant threat. You can never tell the safety as partners sleep with multiple partners. Use of condoms can help,, but still condoms tear and slip. Also the man may try to insert his penis without a condom and it may be too late for the woman to know when she is in the throes of passion.

There is often a tendency to cheat. Swapping may lead to one of you meeting your swap partner without the knowledge of your own partner. Recently we had a question where the wife keeps phoning her swap partner and the husband can do nothing about it, but regret what he has started as a past-time.

There are other ways to increase the intimacy between couples. Try sex toys. Try role playing. Sex can be great between partners, if they only fantasize aloud when making love. This way his fantasy will be fulfilled and you will reap the benefits of great sex.

Swapping does exist. One of the ways it is done is at a house party, all the car keys are dropped into a hat and then picked by the woman. The car key she draws, she spends the night with that partner. Swapping and swinging are common in major cities and you will find many Sites offering this Service. But finding the right couple/partner is a challenge, unless you want to sleep with anyone.

Whatever you decide, do not do it out of compulsion. And always insist on using a condom.

answered Nov 19, 2015 by longhands1 (71,455 points)
edited Nov 19, 2015 by longhands1
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There is an old saying: "be careful what you wish for, as it may come true!!!" And is very true. Swapping and swinging can work for some couples, but you have to think very carefully before venturing into this lifestyle.

Because it looks exciting when you watch porno films, please understand one thing above all else. Porno films do not reflect real life. The world is not full of women who happily take off their clothes and allow multiple penetration by guys with outlandishly large cocks; and the world is not full of men who are happy to share somebody they love with other people.

Now I want you to be honest with all of us. Is your wife wholeheartedly in agreement with this, or is she merely cooperating with something that you want? If she really is enthusiastic about having sex with other couples, you have to ask yourself why she isn't content to have sex with you only? You already know your own motivation for wanting sex with other women, so I'm not going to question that. Now ask yourself another question: when you see your wife crying out in ecstasy as some other guy is giving it to her, better than you have done for some time, and it's perfectly obvious that she is having the best orgasm she's had in ages, how do you think you are going to feel? Now switch it around, and think how she will feel seeing you with another girl, obviously giving it to her with far more vigour and enthusiasm than you have shown with her for a long time? If there's one thing that can destroy an otherwise happy relationship, it's jealousy!!!

Has it occurred to you that either of you may start to feel affection for one of your swinging or swapping partners that diminishes your feelings towards each other? How will you deal with that? How will you feel if your wife, once the 2 of you are deeply involved in the group thing, turns around to you and says she wants to take 2 guys at the same time? Particularly if you're not one of them!!! How will you feel if she discovers a hitherto unknown passion for lesbian sex?How would you feel if she decides she wants to meet other couples, because she finds the man attractive, but you don't find his wife attractive? Or switch that question, you find his wife attractive but she doesn't like the guy? What happens if your wife enjoys herself so much that she starts seeing guys behind your back, or you start seeing girls behind her back? The whole thing is a minefield, and the unwary couple that tiptoes through it are liable to get blown up on the way!!!

I'm not saying that you shouldn't get involved in this scene, but what I am advising is that you both look at it without wearing rose coloured glasses, and see all the possible pitfalls, with a clear sense of reality. It may make your sex life amazing, and the 2 of you may learn new tricks from swapping partners with others.

You say that your sex life has become boring, ask yourself why? Surely watching pornography should have given you some ideas of spicing things up, without necessarily adding multiple partners into the mix. There are no real limits to the things that you can do with each other, if you use your imagination, and throw away your inhibitions.

There's no such thing as nice or nasty, good or bad, or right or wrong in 6, just the things that you like and do things you don't. I suggest you try new ways of pleasing each other before you venture into the world of swinging and swapping. You have to realise that once you introduce other people into the mix, you are opening Pandora's box, and once that lid is open, you can't close it!!!

Best of luck to both of you,

Salma

answered Nov 19, 2015 by sexysalma (14,945 points)
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Its fine as long as you both are comfortable. Try to have sex on different rooms rather than same room with different partners.

Keep trust in yourself

Enjoy!!!
answered Nov 21, 2015 by deepsingh (190 points)
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Dear Coupleindia,

It usually happens that after a few years of marriage couples gets bored with the monotony of sex. To spice up their sex lives couples resort to watching porn movies, role playing, discussing fantasies and sex toys etc. All this ultimately lead to the idea of swapping partners. The advent of internet has greatly helped them to get liberated and let their sexuality  come  out of the shell of modesty and age old morality

Since both of you having decided to explore this matter further you  must look into various pros and cons of it. Please consider the following

A couple getting into this lifestyle must have a very strong bond, faith and trust in each other.

There should be an absolutely open communication between them. All aspects of it should be discussed in detail. Make sure there is going to be no regret in the aftermath

Swapping partners should be limited to recreational sex and there should be no emotional involvement of any kind.

Always practice safe sex

You should not be in a hurry to hop into bed with any couple. It is very difficult to find compatible and trustworthy couples. Take your time select / find a couple, know them sufficiently well before you take the final step. It is advisable to select a good couple from your social circle, become more intimate with them and then let it happen in a most natural way, although it is a difficult option but it is workable

Do not get involved with too many couples. Keep it limited to one or two

Let me tell you one final thing that it is such a thing that once this idea has come to your minds and you have discussed it between two of you. You will not be able to resist it for very long and it will finally happen irrespective of what advice you get from different people

I had initiated this topic in this very forum quite some time back and a lot of people had expressed their views (including a good number of ladies) It may be of interest for you to go through it

I wish you luck
answered Dec 7, 2015 by Payal1 (140 points)
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William Shakespeare once said "There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so"

Our thinking is guided by the society values and teachings. However even society values and thinking keep changing with time. What is wrong today may be right tomorrow. So It is happening all the time that the values are changing. The society is becoming more and more liberal as the time passes by. Today swinging and swapping is so common all over the world. We don't get to know the full dimension of it since it is all a hush hush and under the wraps.

A couple has to decide what is good for them. So if they want to take the plunge, after weighing all the pros and cons there is nothing wrong in it. They should discuss every aspect of it at length. If both of them are sure that it is going to work for them they should go ahead

As Payal said once a couple starts discussing and thinking about it, it is only a matter of time and they will not be able to resist it for long

So decide for yourself and go ahead
answered Dec 8, 2015 by Niharika (115 points)
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To get true and real couple are tough nowadays as many enter internet with false information - beware of it
Have to travel wide some time - age factor - apperance and life status is also important issues here as usual in life
Moreover sexual liking is also important one here - how hygienic you will feel and like.

Really some swap goes well in city and small city also BEWARE SOME CPL NEED FINANCIAL HELP AND DO DIRECTLY BARGAIN MONEY FOR SINGLES IN 3SOME THAT WE MAY NOT KNOW, IN SUCH CASE CHANCES OF SOME INFECTION.

SOME DO SWAP IN FAMILY ITSELF LIKE CLOSE RELATIVE CPL OR WITH DISTANCE RELATIVE CPL.U

IF IT HAPPEN TO MEET BAD EXPERIENCE WITH THE NEW CPL YOU OR YOUR WIFE MAY FAIL TO HAVE SUCH A FEELING - IT HAPPENED TO ONE OF MY FRIEND - FEW DUPLICATE CPL MET THEM AND HIS WIFE  GOT WOUNDED

HAVE A NICE TIME AND BE SAFE - SECURE YOUR LIFE AND HEALTH FIRST
YOU HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO PROCEED - BE SLOW AND STEADY

THANKS
answered Sep 30, 2016 by ramanravi (185 points)

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