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Son-in-law is asking for sex. What to do?

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asked Jan 6, 2016 in Questions by Mantra (120 points)
edited Jan 8, 2016 by longhands1

I am Mantra, 46 years old. I have only one daughter and she is married. While we all went for an outing, in a casual talk my son-in-law praised me for my appearance and wished to have a sex with me. I got shocked and I did not talk to any one later as I was very much disturbed.

After that, the incident and the disturbance started coming in my mind many times and finally it became an attraction towards him. It started to disturb my sexual relationship with my husband. To manage it, I started to fantasize about m son-in-law, while having sex with my husband.

I am feeling nervous to stand or talk in front of my son-in-law now. He did not attempt anything further, but I am scared that I will give in to his advances if he touches me.

How should I handle this? What should I do or not do?

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7 Answers

0 like 0 dislike
It is not a very strange situation, Even on AA these questions are increasing. In these cases the ultimate decision is yours but we can only list the issues related with this so you can take a better decision. I would suggest you to back off as this relationship has a lot of risk associated. Two families are at stake. I am telling you as I am a man, We man nearly have wish to fuck every woman, Generally . I can sense your emotions too as you wrote that you are attracted also. You are in your 40s and you want to spice up your sex life but with Son-IN-Law it would be really dangerous. If someone catches an eye it will be very shameful for you, I do not know the nature of your husband but surely he will be very angry and will be tensed. Your daughter will hate you for this act. Her married life will also be destroyed. She will never be able to respect you as a mother.

You also asked that you will not be able to restrain yourself if your SIL made a move. You think of the same situation when he make a move. You also tell him the risk of this relationship. You must convince it is not good for the future of his married life. If he will be a responsible husband he will step back.

It is not really easy to keep these relationship secret. These things often come out and with very terrible outcome. Best of luck
answered Jan 6, 2016 by robotboy1 (690 points)
commented Jan 7, 2016 by Mantra (120 points)
thanks robo for your time. i am also thinking and convincing me with all these consequences each and every seconds when i'm awake, but still some moments are skipping from me.
commented Jan 7, 2016 by robotboy1 (690 points)
Thanks for acknowledgement. I can understand your feeling right now !. You are already mature ad can think all these things. But some part of your mind is thinking about the fun in that steamy relationship. In such cases the little dissatifaction feels lIke I don't have anything and this is the only chance I can earn. Holding the emotions is not easy in such cases. Try going somewhere with husband and this will change your mood surely
0 like 1 dislike
I don't like to judge people. But I think it's not safe for your daughters married life. Yeah if you think that it will remain a secret while life and you and your SIL can secretly make it good you can go for it. But first calculate all the pro and Cons of it before going for it. And have safe sex if you feel it's fine. All the best. You can message me your further doubts.
answered Jan 6, 2016 by Jhonsm (1,180 points)
1 like 0 dislike
We get far too many questions like this, asking us what to do. I have to say that if you even need to question us about the correct course of action, then you really aren't thinking properly.

Being propositioned by younger men, even if he is your son-in-law, is, I'm sure, very flattering, and makes you feel young and attractive. It may even make you wish for those days before you were married, and perhaps had the freedom to satisfy your own sexual desires. Or perhaps your husband was the 1st partner you ever had, and you now wish that you had had some experience before settling down.

You are tempted to have sex with your daughter's husband. At the same time, you are still married, and it is obvious that you and your husband are still having sex. Is the sex with your husband so dull or disappointing that you are enlivening the whole thing by fantasising about your son-in-law? Fantasising about these things is harmless, and many people weave the most intricate and perverse fantasies imaginable, in order to make their sex life more exciting. You are considering taking things further and I have to point out that while I'm not the least bit interested in condemning your morals, which are your own business, I have to do my duty and warn you of the consequences of allowing your fantasy life to become a reality.

The world is full of people who are having extramarital affairs, swinging, threesomes, one night stands, and so on. The one thing that is a common thread is that these things start out as (at least in the mind of the perpetrator) a harmless little adventure. However, once started, where does it take you? The husband who starts having an affair with his secretary, the bored housewife who starts having an affair with a younger guy, the auntie that starts having sex with her nephew……… Choose the scenario that suits your own circumstances; none of them consider what the long-term outcome will be. To choose the 1st example: the husband who starts sleeping with his secretary. She might be young and pretty, perhaps a lot more so than his wife, but she has needs, ambitions, and is looking for love and partnership. So what is he going to do in the long term? Leave his wife? Breakoff the affair? It can't last forever, that's for sure. And it's the same with any other clandestine activity. If you start these things, you better have a clear idea of where they are headed, and what the end result is going to be.

If you give in to your own fantasies, and start having sex with your son-in-law, the consequences in the long term will hurt you, whether anyone else discovers what the 2 of you are doing or not. The most obvious consequences of getting caught are that you will destroy your own marriage, and that of your daughter. Not only that, but you will tear your family apart, and you will suffer recriminations from all sides. Of course, you may not get caught by anyone, but eventually, you will have to face the fact that sooner or later your sexual attraction will wane, and what might have been exciting for your son-in-law will eventually become an encumbrance that he doesn't want any more.

You could decide to do this as a one-off, but how can you guarantee that he won't come back for more? Particularly if he goes through a rocky period in his marriage, or his wife is heavily pregnant, or he's not getting sex for one reason or another. Do you want him turning up, with nothing more than an ambition to use you?

Having sex with your son-in-law is your decision, and no one else can make it for you. All I'm saying to you is: think carefully, and make your decision when you have weighed up all the possible consequences. If you are thinking clearly, you will make the decision that suits you best.

Best regards

Salma
answered Jan 7, 2016 by sexysalma (14,945 points)
commented Jan 8, 2016 by Mantra (120 points)
Thank you salma, I have read your opinion end to end more than five times. I am realizing the distance which i have reached. As you said fantasies are entertaining due to my disappointments, I'm not deserved to blame my husband as he is feeding me, he is so much dominated in bed from the day one. Sometimes I had stand in the rain for freeing my mind. Now I'm started standing in kitchen corridor to hide me from frustrations and to avoid facing all the triggers. As you intended, instead of making wet all eyes, better make smile all faces by a wet eyelish.
0 like 0 dislike
Dear,
You should not even try it. It may spoil your life as it is a type of incest and you also have husband enjoy with him. You should before you son in law he is your daughter husband. So not even try to think about. I don't know what the wroung with these guys.
answered Jan 7, 2016 by Ankit cool (960 points)
0 like 0 dislike
mam i think your son.- in.law want to flirting to you .he is appreciate your beauty and you have also fantasy about him.this is a matter of two family and your doughter life is also important.please dont make anything physical relationships with him.you know that modern boy flirts every ladies.so dont think of her and said to him not to close with me.
answered Jan 10, 2016 by iamsuresh (120 points)
0 like 0 dislike
hi frnds
           I have to say something  pls make sexual relationship only with ur  hus or wife.Because  we are Indians and we have our own culture pls respect our own values.Because these values will lead us tahead and for our prosperous future.
         Pls understand that  teachers,uncle,aunts,brother,brother's  wife etc are equal to our father and mother.Dont borrow the foreign culture cz we have the unique one. Because of that all the world is respecting  India.
       We know in foreign countries one may have  2 or 3 marriages or  affairs.India have strong family relationship that is leading us ahead.Remember that upcoming generation will learn from us.Dont spoil their life.
        I am happy to hear that Mantra mam take the right way.She recognised that her son in law is equal to her son.
        Know more about joy of sex and love and make sexual relationship only with your life partner and love them a lot.

Thank you
answered Jan 11, 2016 by Pranav T K (105 points)
edited Jan 11, 2016 by prashant69
0 like 0 dislike
Hi Matra according to me everyone here talking about your thought and fantasy no one asking to you about your figure and what's the reasion behind phiysical attraction toward you. My imagination is different here may be your son in law feel fantasy and he likes you as a dreamgirls it may be only the reasion that's why he took the risk and asking for sex hope you better understand the situation. Rest think will be clear after your reply.
answered Jan 12, 2016 by kingmyaqueen (1,755 points)

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