Hello, Anjali ma'am and the moderators here.
My name is Mandar Sawant. I am 22 years old and currently pursuing degree in Engineering. I have a girlfriend of the same age and we live a few meters away from each other. We have been in a relationship for about 9 months now and have never practiced " SEX " (will indulge in sex only after we get married to each other).
Instead, we play with each other's body like kissing, sucking boobs, rubbing her vagina and my penis with pants ON (I used to cum in my pants). We never ever indulged vaginal penetration. A few days ago due to some family problems we are unable to get a private space for us to enjoy (we don't want to go to a motel or to book some room for us as we are not earning).
As a result of this, I have started masturbating by imagining about random women, lik girls from my class, mature ladies like my friend's mom, my aunt etc. I don't know why but I feel like fucking them with force. I have tried some random things like cumming in my mom's or my friend's mom's bra .
After masturbating, I feel extremely guilty. I do love my girlfriend a lot but if I don't masturbate, then I start getting wet dreams. They are horrible ( like how my mom undressed herself and sucked my dick etc).
I just want to get rid of all these dreams and fantasies. Please do help me out of this as i feel extremely guilty and sinful.
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