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I have a threesome relationship with Hubby and Boyfriend. Is it wrong?

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asked May 14, 2016 in Questions by longhands1 (69,885 points)
edited May 14, 2016 by longhands1

Dear Longhands,

I have tried 3 times to post my question but failed. So l am sending it as PM. You please post it.
Thanking you.

nneha

 



"Am l doing right in maintaining  threesome relation with my hubby and boy friend? "

Dear anjali and others.....

I am a married woman of age 35, living with my hubby, who is 40 years old and we have two kids, aged 13 and 8. We enjoy a happy married and sexual life.

2 years ago, my hubby told me a peculiar thing, that he wants to see me having romance with another guy. The reason he said was that, you are so beautiful and sexy. He wanted my beauty should be exposed and not limited to him alone. He suggesed that I should have a boy friend and enjoy life.

Initially, l objected to this suggestion, but later due to his repeated suggestions, l gave my consent. Last year while l was surfing the net, a guy started chatting with me. He was of my age, married, well behaved and working in a distant city.  He told me that he wanted a good family friendship with me and my hubby. We exchanged our phone numbers and talked a lot.

Later, l told my hubby everything. He was filled with joy and  told me that he felt proud having such a sexy and slutty wife like me. I introduced my hubby to that guy and  soon both became friends. After a week, my hubby invited him to our house. He came one morning and I was surprised in witnessing the friendship of my hubby and my new friend. My hubby asked him, how l look and whether he was happy with our friendshp. He replied, that he felt he was the luckiest man in the world, having me as his girlfriend. Then he came close to me, held my hand, kissed it  and told me to remain his friend for ever.

Then  we three talked a lot, shared our feelings, family gossips, etc. After lunch my hubby  went out due to an urgent phone call. Though my boyfriend is very shy in nature, the moment my hubby left home, he rushed towards me, huged me tightly and kissed me passionately. I also hugged him and kissed him. He took me to bed and we had ses two times. Then he left in the evening.

After that, whenever he comes, we three enjoy a lot and we have sex the whole day. My husband is not jealous and enjoys seeing me enjoy with my boyfriend.  Both my hubby and boyfriend love me a lot and take care of me as if both are my hubby. Both want to keep this relationship for a long time

When l am alone, some  questions come to my mind:

How does my hubby tolerate it when someone else is having sex with his loving wife? Does he not have jealousy?
Am l doing anything wrong being involved sexually, though we 3 have no emotional attachment.
Will l be called a slutty wife ?

Has anyone here had the same experience? If yes,  how do you feel and how do you handle it ?
Should I continue this sexual friendship as both my hubby and boyfriend want it?

I politely request you all to give me your suggestions.

nneha




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9 Answers

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Your hubby is not alone who wants to expose his wife to other and wants threesome sex. There are plenty of men indulging in such act and happily share their wife with other man and enjoy as it gives them immense hidden pleasure.

Such men would not feel jealous when someone is having sex with their wife as a substitute they feel proud that someone is having sex with their sexy wife.

If your husband would feel resentment then he cannot live his fetish so he knows he needs to be unprejudiced.

Do not try to find out such answer, as you would never be able to come to conclusion that what makes him to share his loving and beautiful wife to other man.

Whether you are doing it wrong or not it depends on your thinking. Such things are not acceptable in society and morally you should not indulge in threesome as our upbringing teaches us that we should have sex with only one partner but this is not true in these days.

If you feel you are doing right thing then you can term is right and if you feel, you are doing something wrong then this is wrong, as you have to deal with its consequences later on.

If you have guilt-ridden nature then such act is not for you and you should quit it soon to save your pride otherwise on long run you will feel used one and you would be able to handle it.

If you are doing this because of your husband wants it then you should not do it, as he has no right to compel you to have sex with other man for his own pleasure.

Every human have right to enjoy sex but there are certain rules which we should follow for our safety and dignity.

Overall, your question sounds that you are confused whether to prolong or not and somewhere deep down and part of yours telling you, you are doing something wrong.

Therefore, rethink on everything and come to conclusion whether you want threesome go on long run or you want to quit it.

If you feel you should quit it then do it and ask your husband that you do not want to do it anymore and if you want to continue it then do not analyze too much anything and just enjoy which you have a right to enjoy your body.

Let us know your final decision.

answered May 14, 2016 by alpesh kapdi (21,515 points)
edited May 14, 2016 by longhands1
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Neha, You have  best of both the worlds. You have a hubby as well as  a lover who  take care of you and love you.  You are in a unique position where you can eat cake  while keeping it. 

      Your hubby is not alone who finds it stimulating watching you with another man Because psychologically he belives that he had married such a hot beautiful woman that satisfying her sexually is not a task that can be managed single handedly So he has sought this'extra' help. In  todays language he has 'outsoursed' it. 

  You too must be experiencing a total bliss while with both of them that they must have been giving their complete attention to you. 

  However full credit goes to your hubby as he is allowing you to indulge in this relation. He must have been pretty confident guy and must have complete trust in you and confidence that at the end of the day you always will return to him. So its  your responsibility that you shall not stop loving,caring for  him. 

   Apart from marality there is no provlem at all  which differs from person to person. As it is you are not cheating and all are consenting adults so you have every right to lead your life happily the way you want to. 

 

answered May 14, 2016 by prashant69 (6,925 points)
commented May 14, 2016 by nneha (260 points)
edited May 15, 2016 by longhands1

Thanx Alpeskapadi and prasant  a lot for ur  valuable suggestion. I let you all know that both my hubby and my boy friend  love me a lot, care me a lot and want to give me all pleasure.  My hubby never tell me, never force me, even never request me  to sex with my bf.  He always tell me to enjoy life as you want, he gives me full freedom.  I only gave permission to sex to my bf because he loves me so much n lick my whole body, my private parts  very seriously n carefully and respect my mentality always.

As Prasant says it is correct, my hubby is also a very nice n loving hubby and he knows his wife also loves him very much and always with him. So he wants me to enjoy lot. We never  neglect anybody, hurt anybody, we have no emotional attachment.

 

(nneha, since I have aked this question on your behalf, you cannot post as answer, only as comments, so changed to comment).

commented May 15, 2016 by shanayasharma (125 points)
Really good one
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Dear Neha,

Obviously it's immoral. Can you reveal your threesome act in your family or society? I think you will never reveal it. If you reveal it in your family or society then they would started to hate you and ostracized you from  family and society, and you and your husband will be understood as pariah in your family and society.

If your daughter would do same act then what will you think?

There are various reasons might be for wife sharing. Even though this practice of wife-sharing focuses on the wife's sexuality, in my experience, this is almost always (99% of the time) prompted by the husband's request. Wives simply do not often or unprompted go to their husbands and request they have permission to have sex with other men. I heard lots of varied reasons for this desire from various husbands. Some of the reasons were nice, and some were not so nice. I think a discussion of this phenomenon deserves consideration of all the reasons and motivations. So - here you go - my list of the motivations, based upon my research, behind why men would be interested in watching their wives with other men:

● Voyeurism - many folks suggest that we live in a "pornified culture," where most men of college-age and older have seen pornography, and use it as a part of their sexual repertoire. If they are used to such a voyeuristic process in their sexuality, there is some legitimacy to suggesting they may incorporate it into their marital sexuality. Watching your wife have sex with another man may be a next step, or progression, from watching yourselves have sex by having a mirror on the ceiling during sex, then using a video camera during sex, and then finally watching one's spouse with someone else. Many men told me "My wife is the most beautiful woman in the world to me, I'd rather watch her having sex than some porn actress I don't know."

● Sperm competition - There is a biological response playing out here, that affects a male sexual drive. After watching their wife with another man, the husband is prompted biologically to have longer, more vigorous sex, has a shorter refractory period between erections, ejaculates harder, and his ejaculate contains more sperm. Nearly every couple I interviewed told me that after an episode of the wife having sex with another man, the couple felt like they were "in heat."

● The Thrill of the Taboo - there are few things in our society as stigmatized as a husband whose wife is unfaithful. Historically, such men have been beaten, ostracized and ridiculed, and regarded as weak, "sissy men." Some of the men I interviewed described explicitly that the taboo was the thrill for them, from the excitement of the forbidden and the naughty.

● Female empowerment - I was surprised by how many of these couples embraced very powerful feminist principles, and how many of these husbands described the joy they felt at their wife's increased independence, confidence and assertiveness, that came from the wife's freedom to have sex with other men. Many of the men expressed that through their wife's open sexuality, the couple was actively and consciously rejecting social pressures to suppress female sexuality, assert monogamy and patriarchal power.

● Bisexuality - In more than half of the male bisexuality played a role in the husband's desires to watch his wife have sex

Threesome act as a fantasy is good, but in real, it's cheap, despicable, squalid, degrading a woman and understanding them as a sex object or commodity.

Wish you a happy life,

With love,
Nazia Hasan
answered May 14, 2016 by Nazia_Hasan (1,445 points)
commented May 14, 2016 by nneha (260 points)
edited May 14, 2016 by prashant69
Dear Nazia....
Thanx alot for your answar. Pls tell me what is moral and what is immoral ? All these are created by humanbeing not by God. The rule makers framed rules as per their interest.  If we see history, all the rules were under change and a puppet in the hand of  mighty people. They may be Raja, mahaeaja, millionairs, etc.  Rule is only meant for poors, who has nothing but to be prey of the so called rulers in the name of morality.
The rule and regulations are striictly observed by animals, creatures, sun, moon, stars, etc. But only the violaters of law is humanbeing.  They really enjoy everything by following the rule of God. When they feel hungry they eat, when time come for sex, they arrange mate. There is no restriction, no regulation. As humanbeing feel himself superior to  beast, frame laws and same he becomes the victim of that law.

Threesome, foursome, wife exchange,poliandry, etc are practised in lndia century centuary years ago. It is not the product of today. We see all these in temples. Nothing new.
You asked me if l had a daughter will l like it, if she do it. Dear Nazia, you see now a days, almost all mummy papa want their daughter to be moderm, stylish, sexy in look.
If my hubby is happy, if my bf is happy, if l am happy,  we do no harm to others, then what is immoral ? Here is no pressure, no force. All are free to enjoy.  Both respect me a lot. Both care for me a lot. Why should l be a sex toy ?  As Kapadi said, if l feel it is wrong, then it is wrong, if l feel it is correct, it is correct.
Love, affection knows no rules.
commented May 15, 2016 by Nazia_Hasan (1,445 points)
Truth is always bitter. Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at evening.
commented May 15, 2016 by nneha (260 points)
Thanx Dear Nazia, for ur reply.  Pls  tell me, What is truth ? What is false ? What is  moral ? What is immoral ? All are the matter of mind and mind is under change. Sun is present, it is true.  Time will come it will pass way, it is false.  When our civilisation started, there was no law, no truth, no false, no marriage nothing. But as  excess freedom created problem to oiur society, our forefathers framed laws, invented words like moral, immoral, etc. Before some decadses, intercaste marriage was a dangerous crime to our the then society but now nobody asks you that in which caste you r going to marry.
So dear, if l am happy, if my hubby is happy, if my bf is happy, if we do no harms to others, then what is the problem in it ? There is love, there is affection, there is faithfullenss, there is sacrifice. So it is true.  We never attached emotionally, we never  forget our duty.  If l think, it is true, it is true, if l think, it is immoral, it be immoral.
commented May 20, 2016 by Nazia_Hasan (1,445 points)
It's looking very ridiculous and hilarious that an adultress is damning and mutilating our cultural heritage and moral values just to justify her adultery and promiscuity. People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. Now, I'm unable to control my giggle. I've a great pity on your two pennies wisdom.

I've no problem whatever you're playing sex game. It's your life, enjoy it to the hilt, and I have nothing to do with it.

There is no use to playing flute in front of a buffalo.
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HI Neha, I saw your question and your comments , I had also read  the answers by users, See I fee what you your husband and your bf is doing is totally fine and you all three should continue it till you all are enjoying it, you can include others also if you like that and they also enjoy. See I had seen some people her on this web talking about customs and cultures, I would like to ask them who decide culture and custom and are they written rules and cant be changed?? And which custom they are talking about , Once upon a time we were that liberal country that the books like kamasutra written here and the art of kahurao were made, Now who decide what is our culture and lets being logical which science says that humans are Monogamist(made to have one partner only), most of the species are polygamist so what if humans also have sex, and till I know No human now a days are monogamic they all have sex with whomever they get chance, in your case you are lucky that your hubby allowed you and might be you also allow your hubby but when most of the partners wont allow the other one have it secretly.

So please don't feel guilty you are not doing any offence , its all about enjoyment , See there was a dialogue in a movie, everything except food and shelter is about entertainment only. See the reality shows or the IPL everyone know that everything is fixed there still people watch it why only for entertainment. So what you people are doing is just for entertainment . DO it till you like it , you are enjoying it. Include whatever giving your pleasure and enjoyment, have sex in all over the house, garden parks beaeches hills wherever you like. Don't feel bad about it , feel lucky you have two loves at the same time and you can enjoy with both.
all the best
Love
Jhon.
answered May 15, 2016 by Jhonsm (1,180 points)
commented May 16, 2016 by nneha (260 points)
moved May 21, 2016 by longhands1
Dear Jhonsm......
Thanx a lot for your answar. Really life is meant for enjoyment. It either may be physical or may be mental or spiritual. But always we have to see our enjoyment not do any harm to anybody.
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Neha, There is nothing wrong in having threesome sex with your hubby and bf. Your hubby and you like, actually couples like you are very rare in our society. Most of them have fantasies but they don't want to reveal it  because of shame. The only thing is that you to take care of your threesome desire in private places only. Don't reveal this to anybody otherwise you will not know how fast it will take to other peoples ears.
answered May 16, 2016 by PornstarGirl (245 points)
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Hi Neha,

Nowadays it grieves my heart to see that indian people are forgetting their heritage, culture, beliefs, traditions, customs, moral values, ethics, and turning their lifestyle toward porn culture, and making their wives ****, trollop or a sex machine. Our culture is the world's oldest and most defined culture. Today we still use the "Sati Savitri" word to describe the chastity, modesty and purity of an indian woman.

Pornography reduce women, and increasingly girls, to sexual objects while encouraging men and boys to be sexually callous. Studies show that after viewing pornography, men are more likely to be in coercing partners into unwanted sex acts. While mainstream pop culture grows increasingly pornographic, the pornography industry produces hardcore material that is both more overtly cruel toward women and more widely accepted than ever. Have you ever tried to talk about this issue, only to be told that you’re a prude, or that pornography is liberating?

What will happen now that the first generation of men raised on Internet porn is making its way into adulthood?

The pornography industry has pushed its way into our lives, distorting our conceptions of sex and sexuality. Stop this nonsense act immediately, and get out from this sordid tophet.

All that glitters is not gold.

Live stronger,
Rukhsana Khan
answered May 16, 2016 by Rukhsana (735 points)
1 like 0 dislike
Hello Neha,

If you and your husband and this other guy are happy with the way the relationship is running, I see no reason why you should stop it.

If anyone of you felt jealous for any reason, that would be sufficient grounds to end the relationship, but since you say that none of you have any feelings of jealousy, then what you are doing is not harming any of you. You ask why it is that your husband does not show any signs of jealousy when he sees another guy having sex with you: well, some of us actually enjoy seeing our partners being given pleasure, and giving pleasure to others, without feelings of jealousy. You say that there is no emotional attachment between you, but there is obviously love between you and your husband, and that love that you have for each other is so strong that it overcomes feelings of jealousy.

I understand this perfectly, as I live in a relationship with my husband and we have a shared girlfriend who lives with us and shares every aspect of our lives. Regular readers are familiar with this, and know that I am happily bisexual. I make love to my girlfriend just as frequently as I make love to my husband, and he makes love to both of us. Most of the time, we are all having sex with each other simultaneously in all the different forms that that can take, and we love each other very much. I feel no jealousy in watching him making love to Geeta, just as she feels no jealousy when he is making love to me. And when Geeta and I making love to each other, my husband doesn't feel jealous, just very excited!!! I think that this is the overwhelming feeling your husband gets when this other guy is having sex with you. I think you have to understand that your husband has this deep-seated desire for voyeuristic sex, and a huge part of his satisfaction is in watching you enjoying sex with another person. You don't go into a lot of details about the sexual acts that you perform, and whether you have sex with the pair of them simultaneously, or whether one watches while the other one has sex with you. I guess it really doesn't matter what the three of you are doing with each other, as long as all of you are enjoying everything.

My only question in this whole situation is: what is happening to the other guy's wife? While he's busy travelling to your place, his poor wife is sitting at home, presumably none the wiser about his extracurricular activities. Perhaps it would be fairer on her if she was included, and the four of you spent time making love with each other? But that's really not for me to say, each of you determines what you find acceptable, and it's not up to any of us to criticise you.

So, I see no real reason for you to stop what you are doing, as long as you are all enjoying yourselves and each other.

You haven't mentioned anything about your kids, and whether they have any inkling of what's going on. They are both of an age when they are going to start wondering about sex, and if they catch on to what you and your two male lovers are doing, there may be some awkward questions to answer. Try to be honest with your children, don't lie to them, and if they find out what's happening, don't try to sweep it under the carpet, but sit them down and explain to them.

I hope the three of you continue to enjoy yourselves.

Salma
answered May 16, 2016 by sexysalma (14,920 points)
commented Sep 14, 2016 by nneha (260 points)
Thanx  Jordan for ur positive comment.  What you thought about myself it is fully true. I have only sexual relation with my hubby and my bf. But l love only my hubby and my family only. But l love my bf as a friend only, not more than that.  I do sex only for enjoyment, time passing. Not more than that.
Thanx again you a lot.
I will do according to ur good advice.
commented Oct 18, 2016 by gr8gaur (1,655 points)
edited Oct 18, 2016 by gr8gaur
@JORDAN110894  LOL! What sort of hypocrisy is this? Men can't cheat but their wife can, oh please. What you basically mean is that a man who provides for his family, works day in day out to get food on table, to make sure that his wife lives in comfort and children gets good education one day comes home finds his wife in bed with another guy should actually say 'oh sorry to disturb you dear, tell me when its done'. He does all the effort and someone else gets the reward for doing nothing. Never heard a more crap advice than this.
commented Oct 18, 2016 by gr8gaur (1,655 points)
Men can't cheat but wife can, just brilliant.
commented Jan 29 by sexworshipper (100 points)
LOL! What sort of hypocrisy is this? Women cook, take care of home, do all menial and household chores and one says, "Men work day in and day out to put food on the table." By the way, who cooks the food dude? Who takes care of your children and your so-called home? Are you paying your wife?

Do you know that you have to pay your wife for the care work she does at home? You make her do all the work, while you say you have a cool job and you treat her like maid, deny sex and treat her like a doormat. Then you pretend you are doing everything for her. Wow! What a hypocrisy!
commented Jan 30 by gr8gaur (1,655 points)
First of all I'm single and not yet married. Secondly whenever I'll get married I'll prefer to have a working wife rather than a housewife. I'll never ask my wife to do all sort of menial jobs cause I believe in sharing the household chores to make it easy for each of us. She wants baby or not entirely her decision, I'm flexible with as to when to have kids and who'll take care for them.

Now lets talk about the ones who're married and wife doesn't work. If the husband works 9-10 hours a day its because he's no bill gates or a filthy rich Sheikh that he spends all the time with wife and not worry about providing for family. He should love his wife and take care of her needs and comfort. If he fails to do that the wife needs to address the issue and make him realize his fault rather than straightaway opting for EMA. If still nothing improves, better to get divorce and if thats not possible then she's right in to seek happiness outside. But if Husband is genuinely good in all departments then he deserves LOYALTY.

My comment doesn't reflect typical male mindset that wife is nothing more than a maid. It says that if a wife can get into EMA then husband (if he wants) can get equal. Welcome to the AGE OF EQUALITY!

My ideology says that I remain loyal to the one I love and deserve nothing less than Loyalty. If they're not happy with me, they're free to walk out of my life anytime. So next time you feel like giving a reply, try to read the comments carefully and don't assume things on your own.
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It happens to many now a days

As per modern way of living and we follow different culture as we got in to internet and more porno

these activity are accepted for few people in our country, 3some couple swap and more things are
going on, even male prostitution

All these activities are not new mostly practiced for many centuries. There is no thing is good fully and every thing has its own advantage and disadvantage nowadays
We have to manage properly and have to take care of our life also and do concentrate more on our kids
answered Oct 17, 2016 by ramanravi (185 points)
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Dear nneha,
I think one of the reasons why you failed thrice to post your question here is because you're a very confused person. If no two persons in this forum can have same username then I guess in one of the answers that you provided here on another query on Oct 11 you were 38 year old then, aren't you? And here you say you're 35. I don't know if I'm allowed to mention previous queries here but in that reply to a woman who's confused between choosing her hubby or BF you wrote ' I'm a 38 year old housewife having 2 kids (your profile says you have 'a' kid.) involved with a colleague of your husband and then your husband found out about your affair and felt betrayed, here you say he himself encouraged you to have an affair/ threesome. Which one is true? Are you living a dual life? And what's with your age?
answered Oct 18, 2016 by gr8gaur (1,655 points)
commented Oct 19, 2016 by nneha (260 points)
Thanx dear gr8gour for ur comment and ur valuation of my personality. Really l am the most confused person not in this forum but in the world. I do not want to give any respond to ur comment.  What you want to prove  about me ? Follow the gist of my answar  not the figure, data, etc. Why should l give my proper identiity and information to you ?  What is its important also ? We need solution not the identification or anything.
Again thanx for ur great comment.
commented Nov 1, 2016 by gr8gaur (1,655 points)
Don't flatter yourself nneha. I have got no interest in your id and your biodata, maybe I rattled you when I showed you the facts. I don't care what your age is but what I do care about is that fantasy questions posted here pisses me a lot. You have to decide whether your husband was betrayed or did he encouraged you to cuckold him? The bitter truth is that you're just not ready to accept that you contradicted yourself through your questions.

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