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Should I continue my relationship with my lover?

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asked Oct 15, 2016 in Questions by gogoisushma (170 points)
Hello everyone

Am a 35 years old housewife from Assam, married for last 9 and half years. My husband since we got married invite others to have sex with me in exchange of favors. In the beginning I said no doing but he used to beat me every time. Later on I accepted my fate and used to sleep with anyone he brought home. Few months ago I met a college boy near my house. He is a handsome well mannered boy. I invited him to my home and from then it became regular since am alone at home most of the time during day. We developed an understanding with each other and crossed all the boundaries one day. I shared with him every thing about my life. Now I don't know whether I should continue this relationship or not.



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9 Answers

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Your husband is a cruel and wicked men. How you have tolerated being married to him all this time I really don't know!!!

I have no problems with you sleeping with other men, if that is something that you agreed to do of your own free will, once he told you that he wanted this to happen. But for him to beat you into submission, in order to force you to do something which was not your natural inclination is totally and utterly wrong. What he's doing is actually criminal behaviour, and he ought to be locked up for it.

You have come to accept what is happening to you, and now you have met someone who you actually want to have a sexual relationship with. It would serve your husband right if you left him and had a genuine loving relationship with this young guy. However, this is not what you are asking, you merely want to know whether you should continue seeing your young lover.

This is a short and sweet answer: yes!!! Carry on, and enjoy it for all it's worth, for however long it lasts. So far, since you got married, your husband is used you and abused you wickedly, now you have an opportunity to extract a small amount of joy from your life, so grab it with both hands!!!

Be careful not to get caught, as I suspect that your husband would only use this as another excuse to beat you. You were sleeping with people that he brings home, because he is doubtless being rewarded in one way or another for selling your sexual favours. He is making a prostitute of you, one way or another. I don't know whether money is changing hands, or whether he is gaining some kind of advantage in business, or whatever. But you are being forced to have sex with men, because he wants it. He is less of a husband, and more of a pimp, and is a despicable and vile person.

Whatever chance you have for a bit of happiness, you owe it to yourself to take it!!!

My own view is that you should leave your evil husband, and make a new life for yourself. Not all men are horrible, as you have discovered to yourself. You are worth somebody good in your life.

Love,

Salma
answered Oct 17, 2016 by sexysalma (14,920 points)
selected Nov 15, 2016 by gogoisushma
commented Oct 27, 2016 by gogoisushma (170 points)
Salma,
I have decided that i will not end this relation with my lover. Because he is the only male in my life to whom am more that a woman. Others do sleep with me and they ever treat me not in a pleasant way but I have made my peace with it.
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It's your life, you have all rights for peaceful and happy living. It not always what your husband thinks or decides for you.
Enjoy u r life according to your definition.
answered Oct 16, 2016 by SamRin (660 points)
commented Oct 27, 2016 by gogoisushma (170 points)
Thank you for your advice.
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Gogoisushma,

It is shameful of your husband to force you to sleep with other men. But you should have resisted in the beginning only. You could have spoken to the elders in your Family or Society and prevented this.

Obviously, after some time you began to enjoy this arrangement and you also must have received some favours from the men you slept with.

Did your husband join in when he brought men to have sex with you or was he acting as your pimp and agent only?

Since you have now found happiness in this relationship with a young man there is no reason why you should not continue. What is your husband's reaction to your relationship?

Have you considered your response to this young man if he says he wants to marry you? You are in love with him as it is not only the sex you are enjoying but his presence too.

answered Oct 16, 2016 by longhands1 (61,795 points)
edited Oct 29, 2016 by longhands1
commented Oct 16, 2016 by gogoisushma (170 points)
I tried to resist this in the beginning but severely got abused by my husband physically. I being a woman people will call me a prostitute so I decided to keep it a secret and I gave up. Fortunately our house is in a secluded area so we don't have many neighbors.
I would not say that I was enjoying this arrangement but I was neutral with the men. I know they just want my body and don't care about my feelings so I started having fun later on. And yes I too enjoy few favors. Some times my husband joins but rest of the time he just arranges the meeting.
My husband knew about him. When I told him about my lover he beat me up very badly and told me he does'nt care if am sleeping with him but I should not refuse sleeping with the men he calls.
I like being with my lover and I don't know what will be our future because my lover is a student doing his graduation. He is always nice with me and my son.
commented Oct 16, 2016 by longhands1 (61,795 points)
edited Oct 29, 2016 by longhands1

Sushma,

Thanks for giving us more information. It is sad that you have gone through such pain. It is good that you have disclosed this affair to your husband as it will give you some peace.

Do not expect too much from your lover. He is rather young. But if he treats you well then I think you deserve this kindness for all the misery you have faced.

I hope your pouring your heart out on this Site will help to make you feel better.

commented Oct 17, 2016 by JORDAN110894 (115 points)
mam plz dont tolerate physical abuse.....
if u dont lyk ur hubby leave him... & go on wth lover
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It appears that your husband is a sadist and he love to see you fucked by other male partners.Perhaps both of you are involved in Group sex and swapping of partners.You may include the College boy with the consent of your husband.
answered Oct 16, 2016 by Motilal (5,020 points)
commented Oct 27, 2016 by gogoisushma (170 points)
It's not swapping. Just men he brings with him.
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few hubby r so and it is a fate of indian women
 
one of my friend is also facing the issue but both hubby and wife r so understanding to do anything and the wife enjoys the  life well there is no force in it

I request to take care of your life and health well how about your kids take more care of him

There is a proverb in some countries - IF U CAN NOT RESIST RAPE - ATLEAST ENJOY THE FUCKING - it is practical in some  situation dear take care and mind more about your health from unwanted infections what kind of favour your hubby get and is he misusing the money and you more is such case keep away dear - be bold and safe - seek your parents help pl
answered Oct 16, 2016 by ramanravi (185 points)
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Dear Sushama, 

It seems that your husband is loved to see you fucked by other male. The way your husband beat you and torture you and forced you to do some work without your consensus. This is one of the worst kind of abuse.

You are come in touch with the young boy who is sharing good moments with you. You are thinking him as your trustworthy companion because he is helping you in difficulty time. You have to decide whether you want to continue the relationship or not! He is young so he will never miss the opportunity at least during this period in which you required his presence. He might be feeling lucky after come closer with you because he is getting the chance that may be seen in dream.

You are in a trouble time so you may continue with your own path as there is no alternative solution available to you. It is suggested that you shouldnot attached emotionally so that it may create problem for you. Neither of you can able to marry each other due to various factors like age and society.

answered Oct 16, 2016 by bubu_002 (2,680 points)
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You have every right to continue with him if he understands and provides you moral support because he is fulfilling the duty of your husband and it sounds that you are happy with him so continue with him.

Even if you get caught by your husband he does not have any moral right to question your character so do what you feel right for you at this stage of life. You are being trapped in unfortunate situation so if he supports you to get out of it then you can take his support.

You should have brought your family when your husband forced you to have sex with someone else against your spirit but you did not do it so at this stage it is very difficult for you to make him stop bringing men to have sex with you.

Discuss your situation to your lover and listen what he has to say and what he wants you to do in your situation. If you think then you have right to approach police against your husband’s offense on you but to do so you need full support from your lover, friends and family so first discuss with them and then decide what better course of action for you is.

Be positive and never give up best of luck.

answered Oct 17, 2016 by alpesh kapdi (19,870 points)
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Sushma
Hi if you truly love ur boy friend and if he truly loves you go ahead and enjoy but be careful wat ur doing don't get caught at last some one is there for u to share ur feelings and so many other things continue the relaxation shop bcoz u need it badly
Be happy with wat u get butvbe care full that ur husband should not come to know about this ??
answered Oct 18, 2016 by naidu362 (400 points)
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Hello Sushma,

I can see your situation is very critical and very sad to see that your husband is troubling you. If you cant bear these problems just take help from police. As you say now a days you also started enjoying those guys and if you are comfortable thn keep enjoying, if it is solving your problem and you are happy with it, but keep in mind that having sex with multiple partners may lead to STD's.

Now about your lover... he is a college guy, so I think for now he is with you and may be your good friend too, because you both are enjoying each other and of course he also needs a sex partner but a time will come when his parents will also think about his marriage and his future. So may be he is temporarily in your life so I suggest until everything is clear you cant be dependent on him, that he will be there for you lifetime. So please keep that in mind and move accordingly.

Thanks.
answered Oct 18, 2016 by hotrod7 (225 points)

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