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How to convey to my wife who is pregnant that I need Sex?

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asked Mar 14 in Questions by vikram rao (155 points)
edited Mar 15 by longhands1

Hi,

I am married for two years. Now my wife is pregnant. But I am having lots of sexual desires and unable to control my urge.

However my wife is not showing interest in sex at this time. She does not even give me a blowjob and rarely gives me a handjob which also is not sufficient for me. Unable to control my sexual urge, I am just masturbating.

Sometimes, I feel like having paid sex but do not want to cheat my wife. How to convey about my urge to my wife.

Please help me?

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8 Answers

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Best answer
Life is not all about satisfying your desires!!!

Unless her gynaecologist is advised otherwise, there is no medical reason why she cannot have sex. However, you have to understand something very clearly here. While some women might be more sexually excited during pregnancy than usual, some women go off sex completely when they are pregnant. If your wife is only worried about the pregnancy, then a discussion with her gynaecologist should set her mind at rest, and if this is the case, the two of you should go and visit the gynaecologist further advice.

Have you considered that maybe your wife has been advised against having sex stop in some cases, sexual activity has caused miscarriages, and I'm sure you wouldn't want that to happen is not likely if the pregnancy is a healthy one, but again, this is really down to being given the correct medical advice.

Please don't tell us this rubbish about not being able to control your sexual urges. You are a grown up, not a child. You are being asked to return to a situation that you faced when you were a single man. How did you cope before you got married? You may have had a girlfriend with whom you are having sex before you got married, but there was a time where you had to exist on masturbation alone. If your wife is reluctant to give you oral or manual stimulation, it is quite possibly because the balance of her hormones has changed, and the idea of anything sexual seems quite repugnant. You also have to consider that she is gaining weight, and having to carry this around all the time. She probably feels tired, she probably feels fat and ugly, and she probably doesn't feel the least bit sexually attractive. Try to understand this, and try to bolster her confidence by telling her how lovely she looks, and how happy you are that you are going to become a father. If she feels positive about herself and her situation, she may feel better about satisfying your needs. But don't count on this, and resign yourself to a few months of masturbation.

Yes, you could pay for sex with a prostitute, but do you really want to risk catching a sexually transmitted infection? It's not just a case of feeling guilty for cheating, is the risk that you would post to both your wife and your child if you contracted something nasty. Not all prostitutes are carriers of diseases, but a good percentage of them are, particularly those at the lower end of the market. And what would it all before anyway? A fleeting moment of sexual release, followed by agonising guilt for cheating on your wife, the bearer of your child. If you can live with that, and the risk, go ahead and cheat, but if you are the least bit respectful of your wife, you will do the right thing.

So, exercise a bit of self-control, and look forward to the day that your wife gives birth.

I wish you both a happy and healthy child.

Salma
answered Mar 14 by sexysalma (14,920 points)
selected Mar 16 by vikram rao
1 like 0 dislike
This is the common mistake committed by house wife's after becoming pregnant.They should realize the sexual urge of husband.There is no harm in doing masturbation or taking your penis in mouth and sucking it.Controlled sex with mild stroking and less penetration is permissible.Ask her directly about your need or alternative....You may attempt extramarital sex,but never go for paid sex with sex worker.Masturbation is safest.....3-4 times in a month.
answered Mar 14 by Motilal (5,525 points)
1 like 0 dislike

Vikram,

We well understand your sexual need even when your wife is pregnant.

During the first three months, the pregnant woman is likely to feel exhausted, nauseated and just not in the mood. You must have heard of morning sickness. The breasts often become tender and sore and the size increases. Threatened miscarriage due to orgasms are also possible.

Did you both talk about pregnancy before she became pregnant? Often, a woman is in a state of shock, when it happens. This is her first pregnancy, remember.

Tell me, if you had some mental worry or even a physical strain, would you be in the mood for sex?  

Usually, in the next three months she will feel less nauseous, and as there is a build-up of estrogen, her sex drive will also improve. The vagina is more lubricated and the clitoris becomes engorged. Do not insist on sex. Build more of a physical bond by cuddling and kissing. Try to convince her that sex, even when she is pregnant is safe, though advice of her doctor should be taken.   

In many women, the opposite is also true. Their libido and sex drive increases when they are pregnant. But each person is different.

You have asked whether you should have paid sex. Would you recommend that to your wife, if you had an accident and were not able to have sex for some time. I read one comment here, telling you that you should have extra-marital sex. Do you want to destroy your marriage? Sex and pregnancy is not the end of marriage. Act wisely, not foolishly. You have your whole life to have sex with your wife.

Be patient with her. Talk to her. Explain to her about your needs for having sex or at least an outlet like masturbating you or a blowjob.  

answered Mar 14 by longhands1 (67,990 points)
edited Mar 14 by longhands1
1 like 0 dislike
I guess you understand that she is pregnant because of you. I can understand that being pregnant she can't have sex with you the same way as she could before but you need to understand her point of view too. She might be having mood swings or maybe she's fearful of having some sort of complications. Its not like you can't have sex during pregnancy at all. You can find on internet in detail about having safe sex during pregnancy. Its good that you haven't cheated till now and please don cheat that too when she's pregnant with your child, that's the worst you can do to her.

Consult some sexologist or a Gynaec and try to talk to your wife with an open mind and also listen to why she says no. Life is going to be beautiful ahead for you, don't throw it away.
answered Mar 14 by gr8gaur (1,635 points)
1 like 0 dislike

It is normal when women do not want to have sex and being a husband you should understand it. Many women become averse of the sex during pregnancy for many reasons so you cannot make her understand against her wish but you may try to convince her for blowjob and the hand job. Your wife’s priority is her pregnancy and not your physical needs at this stage of life so you need to be supportive of her.

One thing you should keep in mind that she is going through a lot of physical and mental changes right now so your communication about your need to her may not make any differences in her. Therefore, whenever you find her in a good mood you can bring the subject of sex but if she does not show any interest then you should not compel her to have sex with you as that is not required.

I would say prepare yourself to stay without sex unless she gives a birth to your baby and rely on the masturbation until that. Try to understand her state of mind too. 

answered Mar 15 by alpesh kapdi (21,130 points)
1 like 0 dislike
I suggest you go by the Dr's Advise rather then doing any thing for your own pleasure and then regret later.

According Medical science, it is advisable to have sex till the 8th month. Position could be 'women on top' or rear entry, but see to it to it that your pleasure is not a pain for her. I suggest you have a bit of patience till she delivers and masturbate till then .

Lastly, Please understand a pregnant women goes through a lot of things physically and mentally, hence keep patience is the best at this time.
answered Mar 15 by manmumbai41 (445 points)
0 like 0 dislike
In many cases Vikram, delivery is as exhausting and intense for dads as for moms. Once the baby arrives, you see, there's very little continuous sleep for either parent (for a while). The baby is absolute center of attention and most guys' feelings toward their wives are intensely protective and not at all sexual during this period.

Try connecting the dots. Mental state both now and then, must be overwhelmed by joy, let paternal instinct take over you! Chalk out financial working because many ceremonies will happen once the baby arrives home (baby shower, naam karan, shopping, help wife regain health to avoid stress related syndromes)

Most fresh parents have plenty of other stuff on their mind and are pretty sleep-deprived though, so I don't think they have much space to worry about some restrictions on sex for this period, my cousin brothers never did.
answered Mar 16 by guruofalldivas (200 points)
0 like 0 dislike
There is something wrong with this story.  Pregnant women are full of ranging hormones as there body changes with the development of the Fetus.  Women are generally more horny than males and she should be tearing the curtains off the walls.  You should be exhausted every day.  The best sex we (my wife and I) had was when she was pregnant.

I would suggest that you go to a doctor to find out if the fetus is okay.  There may be a health issue that is causing her not to be interested. Once that is clarified then the cause is perhaps something else and it might be a mental issue.  Perhaps she didn't want to get pregnant or it might be you and the way you carry yourself in the family home.  Only communication and deep awareness of each other may bring out any underlining issues.

You cannot convince anyone to do something if it is against there will, this should also include marriage but dialogue and open communication where your wife is not afraid to speak her mind will help.
answered Mar 19 by Idontknow. (800 points)

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