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Can I have oral sex with my widowed Sister-in-Law?

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asked Mar 15 in Questions by ArunK1234 (125 points)
edited Mar 15 by longhands1

Hi,

I am Arun, 28 years old living in Chennai, unmarried and working in a automotive concern. This is a real incident that I am narrating. 

From 2010, I am in Chennai staying with friends. From young age itself, I was having lust on some of my relations ( like cousins, sister and sister-in-law). When I was studying in school itself, when some of my relations visited my home for vacation and if we have a situation at night that they are (sister or cousin or SIL) are lying beside me, then I would try to touch them. I would touch their breasts and try to squeeze them. Till now, I have done the same with my cousin sister and SIL. They too know that but have not told anyone.

In 2012, my Cousin Brother and his family moved to Chennai. I visit their home sometimes, but whenever I see my SIL, my eyes go to her boobs only.

One weekend, she invited me to her home and I went there in the afternoon. My cousin brother and their children had gone to native place. Due to heavy rains, I stayed there for the night. Her cousin sister too was there that day. First, my SIL asked me to sleep in another room. Then we started watching a movie. During the movie itself, I felt sleepy, so I slept there itself next to my SIL.

In the night, I noticed my SIL, slowly coming closer to me. I was awake and my instinct told me she is waiting for your signal but another side of me, told “No she won’t do that” Your way of thinking is bad”. After some time she moved closer to me, with her boobs facing me. I got into the mood. She asked me “Did you like me that much? You are having eye on me know”? I kissed her. Then she said, what we are doing is wrong so go and sleep in another room.

I left the room but after 5 minutes, she again came to my room. We had a hug and a lip-lock. I told her, I will leave now. It was 4 a.m. She said we can have oral sex, as your Brother is not interested in sex. So we had oral sex.

After a few days she called me and apologized and I too apologized. After that we met only in a friendly manner. Now there is nothing between us and we forgot what had happened thinking it was a dark dream.

In 2014 my cousin brother died. Now she is living with her kids. My mind keeps telling me that, at least approach her for oral sex. Whenever she is inviting me to her home, I am thinking that, should I go, only for oral sex?

Please advice me. Should I go?

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4 Answers

1 like 0 dislike
 
Best answer
I'm actually surprised how you two restrained yourself from having sex when you kissed the first time? Anyways, now that her hubby is no more and she's all alone you can try to fill in that space. Meet her more often, try to rekindle the old spark and see where it leads. I would say that do not hesitate letting her know about your desires, who knows she might appreciate your honesty.

Unless you truly love her then its a different thing altogether, but if you're looking for a purely physical thing and she is also missing her needs then go ahead. But keep it to strictly physical, she needs to be fulfilled and you can be the provider.
answered Mar 15 by gr8gaur (1,490 points)
selected Mar 15 by ArunK1234
commented Mar 15 by ArunK1234 (125 points)
Hi gr8gaur,
Thanks for the Reply. I can say that for me its truly physical attraction only .I dont no about her. When we kissed my inner soul  keeps on telling me "You are doing wrong- but my mind is not listening" then suddenly I pushed her and I told that I am leaving home now. She actually begged me for sex. I found very pitty on me at that time :( .... While she asking for sex, I told NO atlast she asked atleast to have Oral Sex. I left that time.

Now I am remembering that. I think now she is not having any sex (I dont no actually) she is doing her work . What my fear was  If i start having sex now , it may ruin her life later when I get married ,or when I am not available if she starts searching for someone mean , then  this sin started to happens purely bcos of me
commented Mar 16 by gr8gaur (1,490 points)
@ArunK1234 Thanx for choosing my answer as best.
1 like 0 dislike

I would say there is nothing wrong in having sex with her if she shows a willingness to share a bed with you as the situation allows you to go for the sex too. It is good that you both have some sexual history so you both can resume it from where you left it in the past just you both need trigger it to get into sexual history.

However, if she does not wish to have anything with you then you should respect her decision. I would say start meeting with her and if possible then spend a good amount of time with her so she can be comfortable with you and you have some pleasure moments with each other.

Make her laugh, make her feel secure with you and be there whenever she needs you if you wish to get into her pants. Take things slowly at the speed you both feel comfortable as you should not show a hurry to have sex with her as that may backfire on you if something goes wrong. 

answered Mar 15 by alpesh kapdi (20,515 points)
1 like 0 dislike
There is nothing wrong with visiting her. If something happens, it happens, and you are both old enough to know what you are doing. I don't doubt that she is lonely, and she is still only young. She has sexual needs, just as you do, and if you think she has forgotten about the night the two of you had oral sex, you are kidding yourself. She remembers it in every detail, just as you do. Now that she is presumably not getting any sex at all, except perhaps by masturbating, she may well be replaying that night in her mind, over and over again. If what you tell us is to be believed (and I have no reason to assume that you are telling us lies), she found you attractive, and even went to the extent of pursuing you when you moved to another room.

I am aware that it is difficult for divorced and widowed women in India to find a new partner, particularly if they already have children as a normal healthy woman, she is quite likely to be feeling deprived and hungry for sex. There is no real reason why you shouldn't make love with her in every way she wants, if this is what she wants. Go and visit her, but don't go there with the expectation of having sex. If it's going to happen, as I said above, it will happen.

Now, stop and think for a minute. If you and your sister-in-law start having a sexual relationship, consider where it may lead. I'm always talking about consequences on this forum, as most people never seem to consider them when they start some kind of relationship. It's fair enough if all the two of you want is a bit of sexual satisfaction, but what happens if emotions become involved? She has lost her husband, and is quite clear that she found you sexually attractive, even before she was widowed. What happens if her feelings for you become really passionate? Are you prepared to give her the love that she may be wanting? Or are you going to break her heart if she becomes emotionally attached to you? She has already suffered the loss of her husband, so do you think it's fair to put her through more suffering, if the relationship between you become something really significant in her life. You also have to consider your own feelings. What might seem like an opportunity for some exciting fun right now, might, over a period of time, leave you feeling a strong emotional attachment to her. We don't pick and choose who we fall in love with, it's some kind of indefinable chemistry thing, and we have no control over it. If you fell in love with her, but she didn't feel the same way, could you handle ultimately losing her?

So, think about consequences before you start anything with your sister-in-law. There's nothing wrong with being, as they call it "friends with benefits." But at the same time, you may fall in love with each other, or one of you might fall in love, while the other is only looking for fun. Difficult isn't it!!!

As regards the kind of sex you have, if all you want is oral, you might find that she wants more than that. She hasn't got a husband to worry about any more, and she may want it all!!!

Good luck

Salma
answered Mar 15 by sexysalma (14,920 points)
commented Mar 15 by ArunK1234 (125 points)
Hi SexySalma,
Yes you are absolutely right .I wont say that you are wrong in any of your points . It is so easy to have sexual relation with her where we left .

I asked this question is because I need to fullfill my physical needs day by day i am in an EVIL state.
I also thought of consequences .Bcos of that only till now I ddidnt had sexual relationship with her. As per my view it is Purely Physical need ,I dont no about her.

Now If i have started having sex, later when I get married,
1.if she keeps on asking me then my life wll suck me
2. if i am not available she might search for some other.This Leads her to go in a WRONG root beacuse of me .I dont want that Sin.
3.If starts with Oral Sex definitely It will end to intercourse
4.Now I am finding guilty. If i have sex with her and overcome that guilt state after first sex then having sex with her will make my mind as-Its USUAL thing(that s too wrong)
 
Prev weekend itself she invited to her home for Lunch. As I am aware that nobody in her home and she aware that nobody in my room too. First I said Ok I will join Lunch
Then I changed my ming and made me in a control to not start there.

Evening she msg me that "You told that you will be here for lunch then y suddenlt changed your mind" I told my friends came to my room.

To check her I too invited to my room she has not reponded
Even This week to same kinda situation is there. What Can I do ? Pls tell me . How to Act Salma? :( I am in a bad situation bcos of this Lust. I know I have to marry soon . But................. Pls Suggest _/\_
commented Mar 16 by ArunK1234 (125 points)
Hi Salma,
Coming Week end she told me that she will be visiting my room .She knows that no one is there in my room ??? I dont no whether she is coming casually or I am taking this as much serious... how to handle this situation  ?
1 like 0 dislike
Lustful feelings at your age with them is natural.But spare your sister.Your SIL seems to be interested in you,so you may safely go ahead.Oral sex is an excuse,actually she wants you physically.Apply caution and enjoy her.You can do oral sex with your widowed sister-in-law,as she likes it.Oral sex will culminate into sexual intercourse.
answered Mar 15 by Motilal (5,245 points)
commented Mar 15 by ArunK1234 (125 points)
Hi Mothi,
Once she told that we can have atleast Oral Sex.
At that  time I am feared and ran away. Now 28 yrs old still single cant control all the times so thinking like that.
Now too i am in a fear but fearing more about connsequences.
If she keeps on asking this even after i get married means what can i do ?
I think this is not a One Time Deal

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