I am Arun, 28 years old living in Chennai, unmarried and working in a automotive concern. This is a real incident that I am narrating.
From 2010, I am in Chennai staying with friends. From young age itself, I was having lust on some of my relations ( like cousins, sister and sister-in-law). When I was studying in school itself, when some of my relations visited my home for vacation and if we have a situation at night that they are (sister or cousin or SIL) are lying beside me, then I would try to touch them. I would touch their breasts and try to squeeze them. Till now, I have done the same with my cousin sister and SIL. They too know that but have not told anyone.
In 2012, my Cousin Brother and his family moved to Chennai. I visit their home sometimes, but whenever I see my SIL, my eyes go to her boobs only.
One weekend, she invited me to her home and I went there in the afternoon. My cousin brother and their children had gone to native place. Due to heavy rains, I stayed there for the night. Her cousin sister too was there that day. First, my SIL asked me to sleep in another room. Then we started watching a movie. During the movie itself, I felt sleepy, so I slept there itself next to my SIL.
In the night, I noticed my SIL, slowly coming closer to me. I was awake and my instinct told me she is waiting for your signal but another side of me, told “No she won’t do that” Your way of thinking is bad”. After some time she moved closer to me, with her boobs facing me. I got into the mood. She asked me “Did you like me that much? You are having eye on me know”? I kissed her. Then she said, what we are doing is wrong so go and sleep in another room.
I left the room but after 5 minutes, she again came to my room. We had a hug and a lip-lock. I told her, I will leave now. It was 4 a.m. She said we can have oral sex, as your Brother is not interested in sex. So we had oral sex.
After a few days she called me and apologized and I too apologized. After that we met only in a friendly manner. Now there is nothing between us and we forgot what had happened thinking it was a dark dream.
In 2014 my cousin brother died. Now she is living with her kids. My mind keeps telling me that, at least approach her for oral sex. Whenever she is inviting me to her home, I am thinking that, should I go, only for oral sex?
Please advice me. Should I go?
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