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My widowed Mom is pregnant from my best friend. He refuses to marry her. What to do?

2.9K views
asked May 17 in Questions by pdas (120 points)
edited 6 days ago by longhands1

Hi,

I am Paresh from Pune. I basically belong to Odisha. I am working in Pune since 2015. I am the only son of my parents. Currently my family consists of mom and me as my father is no more.

My Mom lives in my native city. She is a working in private firm. Just 15 days back, I camre to know that my mom and one of my best friends are in relationship. Now she is also pregnant.

My mom wants to marry my friend but my friend and his family members do not agree to this. My friend hass told me all this.

I am totally confused. How to handle this mess?

Just help me friends.




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4 Answers

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Paresh,

This is a tricky situation. My Advice is based on how far you and your mother are willing to go to get justice.

One problem is that you are far away from the situation and will have to remote control this.

Your Mother has to be sure that the child she is pregnant with belongs to your friend. This she will know if she has not had any other sexual intimacy with another man. She also has to decide how deeply she loves your Friend and is willing to have his baby.

The Law is on the side of your Mother and any complaint from her to the Police will put your friend in jail. He will be forced to marry your mother. But is this what she wants? If your friend does not love your mother, then all her life she will be unhappy.

Talk to your friend and see if Law threat works. You may have to involve some elder or respectable Member of your Society/Family in this matter. If your Friend is just not willing to accept your Mother as his wife then it would be better to abort the baby. Check if it is still medically possible as once the time has passed the Law will not allow it.

If your Mother wants to keep the baby, she will need to seek financial assistance from your Friend. Make a legal agreement. Just by word of mouth is of no use in the future.         

Do not panic. You need to be a support to your Mom at this critical stage in her Life.

answered 6 days ago by longhands1 (59,870 points)
commented 5 days ago by pdas (120 points)
edited 5 days ago by longhands1
Hello friend,

Thanks for your suggestion.

Above you have asked if the baby belongs to my friend or any other. My friend told me all things. He is the father of this baby and I also asked my mom. She also told me that she is pregnant by him and not any other person .

Actually, I don't want this matter to go to the police or make it public. I have very soon planned to visit mom's place. There me, my mom, my friend (the father) and his family members will conclude some thing.

But still my mom loves him. During the phone communication, I found out she would like to marry him. She also told me this thing.

Thanks.
commented 5 days ago by longhands1 (59,870 points)
edited 5 days ago by longhands1

pdas,

That is a good idea. All should sit together and discuss the Issue. It would be better if you include a Senior Family Member or a Religious Leader from your side as his Family Members will make it out as your Mother's fault. 

You should not fear about matter becoming public. This "Fear" will suit your Friend and he will want your mother to abort the baby and break all relations with your mother. You should not let him go off so easily. Even if you dont intend going to the Police, do mention that you will take help of the Law.

Your mother has not done anything wrong. She is a widow and must have been promised marriage by your friend. So she had sex with him. Nothing wrong in that.

But if your Friend says that he does not love your Mother, then she should rethink.

You should not delay the meeting, as then it will become difficult to terminate the pregnancy.

Wishing you and your Mom all the Best.

commented 4 days ago by pdas (120 points)
Thanku very much my friend for ur best advice ...
This Sunday I am going to lend to my home and Monday we all discuss about this,I already started install discuss with friend and mom.what I known from initial discussion is my mom and friend they love each other very much .they don't want to break the relationship only his parents are not interested so that he behave like this.mom suggest to him that if u don't marry me it's ok but keep maintain our relationship as well as,
From this discussion I just clearified that my mom need physical satification from him.so she like him and my mom also truly love him.
This is the problem my friend
commented 3 days ago by pdas (120 points)
Hi friend
Finally we conclude this conflict my mom agree to drop this pregnant and also marrige my friend parents agree for financial help also.
Now all ok but mom have some condition .
0 like 0 dislike
No offense but seems more like a fantasy stuff. Why would your mom get involved with a guy half her age and that too her son's best friend ?
answered 6 days ago by gr8gaur (1,110 points)
commented 5 days ago by pdas (120 points)
Friend he is my best friend but when was I left my city my mom alone there so he mostly visit my home to help her.in this time  they attracted .
commented 5 days ago by gr8gaur (1,110 points)
Listen Paresh,

I can imagine your situation but tell me exactly how do you feel about this whole situation ? Do you feel sad, embarrassed, hatred, anger ? Do you still respect your mom ? What she said to you after you came to know about the truth ? Did you come to know yourself or she confessed ? Are you facing embarrassment in the society ?

Answer all these questions, it will help you decide the future course.
commented 4 days ago by pdas (120 points)
I feel embarrassed at first when was I known all this thing,but after I thought about mom she is widow from last 7 years and living in alone so she may need physical pleasure because of this she did this thing.
Yes I respect my mom.
First my friend told me this thing then I ask my mom about this she also told me same thing.
Yes I'm facing embrass in this society .
commented 3 days ago by gr8gaur (1,110 points)
So now your friend and your mom are going to get married ? If yes then will you be comfortable calling your friend 'father'. How do you deal with such embarrassment ? If you're doing a job, why don't you live seperately ?
0 like 0 dislike

First of all your mother should go to the doctor to terminate the pregnancy as that is what she should do since she does not have a right to compel your friend to marry her just because he fucked her. However, if he had sex with your mom promising her to marry her and now he is not honoring his promise then he done the crime and under those circumstances he has to marry her or he can be prosecuted for the rape but chances are rare that they had sex with the intention to marry each other.

Your mom has to stop meeting him and drop the idea of marrying your friend as that is weird and the society where you people live would never accept it so it would be really hard to stay around those people if they get married. If you force your friend to marry your mother then do you think that they both will be happy as a couple where the marriage is against his wish.

The best thing is your mother has to find a man who is of her age and ready to marry her. Here you are in a situation where you cannot do much as you are not aware how their relationship started and what was the base of their relationship.

I can say that the sex was the main thing in their relationship and later when you mom got pregnant she started thinking about keeping him all the time with her by marrying him. Just ask her to terminate the pregnancy and you should break your friendship with your friend as he is not you’re a true friend as he had sex with your mom instated of playing the role of a true friend in your absence. Therefore, stay away from such kind of a friend. 

answered 6 days ago by alpesh kapdi (18,970 points)
commented 5 days ago by pdas (120 points)
Thanks friend for ur suggestion.
I am also not like for marrige and not like my friend became my father.publice definitely discuss this thing,but my mom is totally mad with him she want to marry my friend also love her but when he inform this thing to his parents they dislike to this marrige,moreover his mom age and my mom age are same so definitely they dont agree for this think.i will try with ur suggestion like marrige to other man and abotion.
See what happen next
commented 4 days ago by gr8gaur (1,110 points)
Leave your mother and live seperately if you're doing a job.
0 like 0 dislike
It's looks very complicated situation brother your mom and your best friend are in relationships and your mom is pregnant and your father is no more too and your mom wants to marry your friend but your friend denied it
You should sit together and discuss this matter because your mom and your friend both are responsible for this situation
Your friend cannot be forced to marry your mom because your friend has not forced her and Your mom too knows that
Your mom should have taken measures before playing with your friend body
answered 5 days ago by pavan350 (355 points)
commented 4 days ago by pdas (120 points)
Yes bro we all going to discuss about this thing and the matter will solve very soon I hope because my mom agree to drope the pregnant and my friend family also agree to give us financial help for abotion.

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