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How can I stop my extramarital affair with a young guy?

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asked Jun 9 in Questions by Bobbysexy (120 points)
edited Jun 12 by longhands1

Hi All,

I am new to AA platform. First of all thanks to Everyone on this website.

I am a 37 year old housewife belonging to a conservative Family in South india. I have 3 children. My problem is that my husband is totally addicted to alchol and smoking so our sex life is a disaster but still I never had any intention to cheat him.

Unfortunately l had sex with a young guy from my neighbourhood which retriggered my hidden desires. Now each and every time when ever chance is available I am letting him to fuck me and latter on I am having regrets about this.

Is it ok to cheat my husband by letting this young guy to fuck me?

How can I stop my increased sexual desires?

Thanks
Bobby

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8 Answers

0 like 0 dislike
NO, IT IS NOT OK ! Did you talk to your husband regarding his smoking and drinking habits ? Did you tell him explicitly that sex is missing and you're not happy at all ? If you have done it and still he doesn't care then you I got not much to say, but if not then maybe that's what you always wanted.

'I never had any intention to cheat him, unfortunately I had sex with a young neighborhood guy', may I ask how? I mean what led you to sleep with him ? Was it like you met for the first time and it happened like in hollywood flicks? Or were the two of you meeting regularly and then the inevitable happened ? How long do you know him and since when your affair is going on ?

If your husband treats you well but his habits is destroying the marriage then talk to him rather than cheating on him, but if he doesn't mend his ways then its better to separate and lead a happier life.

Remember! Forbidden fruit tastes sweeter but often proves to be poisonous.
answered Jun 9 by gr8gaur (1,680 points)
0 like 0 dislike
Hi Bobby..

First of all, your focus seems to be too much on guilt than on your needs. Your desires are normal, not 'increased'.. assuming you are getting fucked even 3-4 times a week.. whenever you might be getting a chance.. it's not like you are doing it 5 times a day.. so your needs are pretty normal.

Now coming to your husband, I assume you might have given up on trying to get a normal sexual life with him all these years and he stopped responding. it's highly likely he already must have committed adultery if he isn't having sex with you and spending time on drinking and smoking.. maybe even going to bars.. but this is my assumption as he is disinterested in you.. he might even be completely bored of you.

You happened to get a young blood who is giving you the pleasures you had forgotten for a long time back, why do you want to give up on it only due to your guilt, is it worth it? I'm talking to you out of experience that when your partner starts rejecting you in bed there's nothing as bad as that.

We all crave that touch and being sexually satisfied.. there's nothing wrong and if the guy isn't doing his duty to fuck his wife, it doesn't in any way imply that the wife needs to abstain from being fucked.

I don't think you are doing wrong in any way. yeah.. please use protection and definitely be discreet.. never let the affair affect your marriage or kids and keep it strictly a physical/sexual relationship and nothing beyond.

Cheers
answered Jun 9 by wick007 (415 points)
0 like 0 dislike
Hi

No harm in having sex outside wedlock if you feel it's right. You need not reach out to public to justify your reasons.

Deep within the answer is clear. You like it and your needs were needed to be filled.

However, there are a lot of things you should keep in mind while indulging with this youngster. Things can get leaked or even he might involve more friends to join him. Plus neighbours might sense this due to frequent visits. Pregnancy chances are there too. So just be cautious.

Best regards
answered Jun 10 by Tangent (355 points)
0 like 0 dislike

If you want to stop it then the self-control is the only way but if you are sure that your husband would not fuck you anymore then I do not find anything wrong in having sex with this young boy as it is your right to get sexual satisfaction and your situation justifies it so do not worry and keep having sex with this boy but make sure that you would not get caught otherwise it would be very hard for you to save yourself from the huge embarrassment.

As far as your regrets are concern no one can do anything but if you persuade yourself that you are doing nothing wrong as you are in a situation where you need to have sex with other man then I think you can be fine and your regret feelings may start lessening with time but as long as you keep thinking that you are doing something wrong then I do not think that you can stay away from guilt.

There are many things wrong in the eyes of the society but that does not mean that each thing is wrong for each individual. If you see the life from practical point of view then I do not think you are doing anything wrong instead you have a find a solution for your problem without affecting your marriage life which I would say is a smart move.

However, you should not expect too many things from this boy as one day he will leave you when he finds a young vagina to replace yours but as long as he is available I would say have a fun with him. 

answered Jun 10 by alpesh kapdi (21,860 points)
0 like 0 dislike
If it gets out, this can be a disaster. But you also have a valid reason for this relationship. How young is he? This can be an important factor as he needs to be mature enough to hold this secret.
answered Jun 10 by Tuff (315 points)
0 like 0 dislike
Hi Bobby,

Till the time you love your husband n family and are not getting into emotional relationship other than your husband, should not be a problem

While you are getting fucked by another guy, hope u do not over do n get into multiple partners as it could lead to great problem in future for u n ur family.

Sex is eternal truth of all living being, some need little and some have high demand but everyone needs it.

So enjoy a great sex life and continue enjoying a variety of penis and fuck style.

Do share your sex experience with your neighbor

Regards
answered Jun 12 by M_ann16 (350 points)
0 like 0 dislike
There is no harm in what have u done as long as it does not go on for too long. You need a little time for your self to take in what has happened, to think and regroup. Take time to  get over the initial hurt, and guilt. You need to think with the logical part of your brain not your heart and emotions. Take as much time as you need to get to this point.
There are many women who have gone through the experience that you have. It is a part of life. Everyone makes 'mistakes'. Remember that at the time you did it you  thought it was the right thing to do
Honestly, I think you are continuing this affair because the other guy gratifies your vanity. You enjoy the attention you get.You had an affair because you wanted to have one
Think of these -  Exposure to blackmail , Getting caught.
answered Jun 12 by srajesh (1,130 points)
0 like 0 dislike
Te social​ norms are different from the practice. These practices are called taboo in some area and some area it accepted. You have an affair​with the young guy means you have mutually agree with the relationship . As you are not getting support from your husband so it's the reason for your your addiction towards another guy.
It is suggested that keep the relationship separate from each other in such  A way that it wouldn't hurt both the sides. If you will try to build permanent relationship with the young guy then he would break the chain. Make a good ending by close te relation wt comma so that it can be revived after few years.

Think healthy.
answered Jun 15 by bubu_002 (2,735 points)

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