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Should I marry the Girl I Iove, inspite of Age and Caste differences?

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asked Jun 24 in Questions by Raghuveertiwarig (125 points)
edited Jun 29 by longhands1

Dear friends,

I am Sourav from Punjab. My Date of Birth on the certificate is 1999 (so shown in records as 18 years ) but in reality my DOB is 1997 ( so I am 20 years). My Girlfriend’s DOB  on her Certificate is 1988 ( so in Records she is 29 years) but her real DOB is 1993( so she is really 24 years old ). All this problem is due to lack of education in the Village and Parents stating incorrect age at thetime of school admission.

Now, my real problem. I want to marry my Gf who I love the most and she also loves me very much. I will take minimum 2 years to make my career. My Gf told me that who knows what will happen in the future? If you change your mind in the future or my old parents force me to marry someone, what will I do?

We cannot decide what to do and need your help.

Q1. Our Real age difference is about 5 years but by our Certificates it is 11 year. Will it affect our relationship? She is healthy and looks 18 just now, but in future will there be a problem?

Q2. There is also the problem of caste. Since she is from another state, no one will be able to find out our real caste and so our parents would not feel ashamed. Will this turn out to be a problem in future?

Q3. If I take about 3 year more to marry her, her real age would be 28 and on certificate it would be 33. She feels that she will not be able to have a baby due to her age and stopping of her periods.  She is a virgin and does not masturbate. Is she right? Will the chances of having a kid diminish?

Now you people tell me what we should do? Show me the way please. She is the only one in the world who cares for me. She rejected about 20 marriage offers and one person waited for her for about 4 years but now she has rejected him. I love her with all my heart.

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commented Jun 25 by Raghuveertiwarig (125 points)
Dear moderate
             I don't find any best answer that i want  I want to know as she become old earlier or not or it will effect our relation or not what others makes comments she is old then me and i takes about 3 year too marry she is not able to wait for that her parents yedterday told her to go for suicide or go for court marraige you both her parents also tells her in the next 3 month you both make court marraige and leave my house because my relative asks me your daughter is going to be too old why she is not able to marry.telll me what i do please I'm too small to small desicsion .she is from MP
commented Jun 26 by Raghuveertiwarig (125 points)
And one thing more i sex with him she bleed but i don't give too much enjoy.are you sure it will not ruin our future life
commented 6 days ago by longhands1 (63,765 points)

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5 Answers

0 like 0 dislike
Your girlfriend's parents must be smoking something, who in their right mind would state their daughter's age 29 when in reality she is 24 ??? Normally, like in your case people reduce their children's age in the certificates but your GF's parents chose to show their daughter as 5 years older !!!!

And whats up with the maths of the people on this forum (I know your's is the first time) ? You say at present your GF is 24 (29 for the world). 3 years later she would be 27 according to me and 32 for the world but according to your maths she would be 28 in reality and 33 for the world, her parents did +5 to her age and now you do +1, great! Soon she will be a senior citizen at this speed.

And she rejected 20 marriage offers, 20 !!!!!!!!! My goodness. Is she from Haryana ?

Your question doesn't seem genuine at all. But to be brutally honest, things won't work out even 3 years later.
answered Jun 24 by gr8gaur (1,480 points)
0 like 0 dislike

Sourav,

If you love the Girl and are confident of your Love for her, marry her, all other considerations are unimportant.

You may have come across many instances of vast age differences between partners in the earlier generation as people did not place too much emphasis on age etc. This is a modern trend that couples consider so many things before getting married.

As long as you both are convinced that the Certificates are incorrect and you are not cheating each other about age then go ahead and marry. But I have one concern, since you are not earning and will not be able to support your Family for another 2 years, then it may not be wise to get married immediately. Can you get engaged in some Religious ceremony so that she also will be convinced that you will not change your mind later.

Caste difference can be a big issue in some regions. Why should your parents feel ashamed? You are both getting married and as long as you both are not ashamed, I see no reason why you should consider others views.

Finally, a woman can conceive as long as she is fertile. Women who are in their 40’s also have borne children. It is better that she have a medical checkup, so that the Doctor can guide her here.

answered Jun 25 by longhands1 (63,765 points)
commented Jun 25 by Raghuveertiwarig (125 points)

Thank you. I am satisfied but one thing I want to know... her parents force her to marry immediately because after her 3 sisters are waiting and many realatives ask her about marraige.

I am not able to marry immediatley. I would marry her after 3 year. Should I tell her to leave house and wait for me.

0 like 0 dislike
In real sense your girl friend is four years older than you.Can you can trust her version about her age....your own version of age may be correct.In genuine love age,caste and creed matters little.But it should not be limited to fulfilling sex only.Age is a number only.If you are old but young at heart,or she is older but preserved youth and vigor.There will be no major problem.Be bolder and go ahead or compromise with wishes of your parents.Take a firm decision,don't falter.For all official purpose birth certificate is real document.Other things will not count.
answered Jun 26 by Motilal (5,235 points)
0 like 0 dislike
Dear RT,

Age and caste difference play a big role when you both are dependent upon your parents and they put the clause in their hand. One of the member rightly suggested if you are bold then hard decision can be taken. In case you are not independent then talk to your parents repeatedly directly or through someone that will neutralise their hate towards other caste.
Rejection of 20 marriage proposal is not convincing.  In most of the cases girls don't have patience to wait for their boyfriend for marriage in case he is struggling.
You are in modern world and waiting for  the concept of virgin!!!! I don't think your relationship is from long time because if it so then both might be involved in physical intimacy. No Physical intimacy indicates she is not close to you. She might be waiting for something that don't known to you.
Talk to her and try to find approaches to address the problem.
answered Jun 26 by bubu_002 (2,730 points)
0 like 0 dislike

If you both love each other then there is no problem in the future regarding anything as age is the number so do not worry about the age differences as I have seen many couples with such age gap and happy so do not worry about too much regarding age. However, one thing you both need to do is declare your love to your family and ask them that you both want to get engaged and would ready for the marriage in the next three years once your career is good.

You both have to convince your family as initially both the families would reject your proposal but you both should stay firm on your decision up to the level where both the families think that it would be better to allow you guys to get married. I do not think after three she will not be able to have kids as up to 33 years she can easily have kids so do not worry about that front too. You both should focus on how to disclose your love to your family and how to make them ready for the marriage. 

answered Jun 27 by alpesh kapdi (20,425 points)

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