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I intend having a final showdown with my cheating Girlfriend. What do you say?

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asked Jul 22 in Questions by gr8gaur (1,675 points)
edited Jul 24 by longhands1

This is going to be a bit long so please excuse me.

In 2015 I got into a relationship with someone who just got out of a relationship at that time. I loved her a lot but questioned myself whether I should keep it to just sexual fling or get emotionally involved as well making it a full fledged relationship ? Cause I had in the back of my mind that maybe I'm just a rebound and shouldn't expect too much. I talked to her clearly about this thing and she assured me that she's in love with me.

The relationship in her words was amazing as I gave my 100% and loved her with all my heart. Around the first anniversary I noted signs and concluded that she's two timing me with someone. I got my facts right that she's been doing this since a month or two. I was very upset since 'cheating' is something I can't bear. During our relationship I told her this very clearly that if at any moment she feels she doesn't love me or like someone else, all she got to do is tell me on my face and she's free to walk out.

During our confrontation she was apprehensive at first but soon got arrogant. YES I CHEATED, SO WHAT? HE'S BETTER THAN YOU AND ALL THE GIRLS LIKE HIM. The venom in her words and the look said it all. The last thing I told her was not to contact me ever again. 5-6 months after break up she got the nerves to contact me again pleading to get back together. I was cold as ice and responded in negative, she made her sister contact me saying my ex met with an accident.  I told her that if she keeps contacting me she'll regret, when someone hurts and leaves me... they are as good as dead. My threat worked till a month and now she's back to pleading.

Her words still ring in my years whenever she contacts me and I think she needs a befitting reply to get the message.
Note: don't need advice like 'forget it, take the high road' etc.

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commented Jul 24 by myselfarun (670 points)
I dont have answer to ur question.

but you are like me



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7 Answers

0 like 0 dislike
Hello gr8gaur,

I feel very sorry for you for such a nonsense behaviour from your girlfriend even after you loved her so much.

I just want to describe your girlfriend in one word "BI*CH"

Such type of girls we often see around us.They indulge in relationship just for thrill,timepass.They don't take any type of relationship seriously and think for short period of time only not long terms. They just want to be in relation to fulfil their demands and needs from boyfriends. Never ever think or care about their lover. They are very selfish minded.Always compare their boyfriend with other guys. Your past girlfriend is like that only.

Emotional people like us get hurt because of such behaviour from them which happend to you.

Now she may not be getting positive reply from that guy. That is reason she is coming and begging to you now. Such people don't change in lifetime or even if they change they change for their advantage not because they are experiencing a guilt and wanted to correct the past mistakes.

You don't deserve such nonsense girl as any normal human being will get hurt by those words "YES I CHEATED, SO WHAT? HE'S BETTER THAN YOU AND ALL THE GIRLS LIKE HIM"

You said right that she needs befitting reply from you so that she will remember your words for lifetime and she will live her life with guilt that she deceived a very nice guy who gave his heart and soul into relationship even after knowing she had boyfriend in past.

I will not tell you in words which reply you should give her but never forget to give her strong reply.

Best of luck.

 Raj
answered Jul 23 by Raj Handsome (890 points)
commented Jul 25 by gr8gaur (1,675 points)
Thanx for responding mate.
commented Jul 25 by Raj Handsome (890 points)
Welcome
What have you decided ?
How you will give it back ?
0 like 0 dislike
Dear gr8gaur,
                       According to me, There are 3 types of men in this case.
 1)Actually  this situation is similar to my friend's (22)situation.he accepted her back ,but  this time he was not emotional. so, he was still aware of her cheating.  he was very close to her mother.her mother is a widow (46 years).but he said to me that he taught a lesson to her by fucking her mother and hiding it from his ex girlfriend and wantedly letting her know. I don't know what happened. I think it must be like a thunderstorm hitting her.after he went to states and returned to setup a company and was very successful.but even still she was having affairs and comes to see him to which he doesn't look at all.i know how much he cried ,when she left.now he was like badass (but good in nature and totally care to his family).

2)I think you may not like this option. But say ok to her .take one day ,ask her to come at your room and fuck her as hard as possible(sorry ,you dnt mention about your sexual activity).then when she comes to see you again, say that you have already in relationship with someone.if she asks y ?then say yeah I was fucking her, becoz of betterment offer .she is better than  you in character.and tell her to get lost.

Bro, I dnt mean to be rude and I dnt want you turn like.but see the law in society.there is immediately action taken in case of a women .but there is no treatment or action taken for a man's broken heart.be happy.iam really sad for you because the way you advised me to my question made me though that there was a existence of happy men.but I think now, it was wrong.

Thanking you
Coolcracker 420.
answered Jul 23 by Coolcracker420 (620 points)
commented Jul 24 by gr8gaur (1,675 points)
I'm happy mate, it took me 4-5 months to get her out of my system but since last 7-8 months she's not in my thought process except when she or her friends/sis call me to meet her.
commented Jul 24 by Coolcracker420 (620 points)
Good to hear my friend.be like that.just happy to hear about the person ,who helped me long time ago (you).

Thanking you
Coolcracker 420.
0 like 0 dislike
Fuck her and make others fuck her.teach her a lesson my friend. Cheats should be treated lik this
answered Jul 23 by Handsomeguy162 (175 points)
commented Jul 24 by gr8gaur (1,675 points)
Very tempting advice but I genuinely respect women.
commented Jul 24 by Raj Handsome (890 points)
What happen if she lodge complaint to police ?
commented Jul 24 by longhands1 (71,355 points)

Raj,

If you have Sex and she alleges that she was promised Marriage, then Police would take action.

commented Jul 25 by Raj Handsome (890 points)
Longhands,
Yes.That is what I wanted to say.She can give fake statememt to police...
What he will do then ?
Here in India, Law is also from Girls side in such situations...
He must cancel this option as it is so much dangerous...
His revenge may lead to his life changing revenge from her side..
0 like 0 dislike
If I were you, I wouldnt want just a single showdown. Let her pleade till she gets tired and decides to move on, Meanwhile you enjoy it. Even though you may have moved on after you confronted her about her cheating behaviour, her begging and pleading will help you heal the emotional wound and the bad psychological effects cased by her vicious words.

Some people may recommend you to patch things up and enjoy having sex with her till you find someone special in your life and then break up. Dont do that, It causes serious emotional and psychological problems to people sometimes. Dont think of hurting her that way. You may hate her, but she is not your enemy. My theory is that if given a chance, its ok to hurt your enemy, but when its just a matter of hate, you stay away from them.

I believe You have earned a right to enjoy her begging and misery. Getting angry on anybody, its just punishing your own self. Make a list of things you want to say to her, tell her what she did, let her be sorry and enjoy her begging.

Use this opportunity to get the closure you want. You always need a closure with a person whom you had loved once.
answered Jul 24 by Rhajsingh (130 points)
commented Jul 24 by gr8gaur (1,675 points)
I expected this begging from her but I don't get any pleasure from it, it irritates me TBH. I have some principles in life and I strictly abide by them. When a person cheats on me (first time happened to me) I let them go, reason is my rage knows no bounds and I hate things to turn ugly. She's dead to me and she should have realised this by now, a year is more than enough.
commented Jul 25 by Rhajsingh (130 points)
You know best about your situation. You do what you have to do and you want to do.

Totally off the topic, but Rage/Anger is something people should learn to control, Ignoring or running away from situation are alternative, but They wouldn't teach you how to control your rage/anger.
0 like 0 dislike

Gaur,

You have often given time on this Site to give Advice and say it without mincing words.

I would like to reciprocate, not with mincing words but with my point of View. Fine, you have decided to end the relationship for good. Sensible. You will never be able to forget what she has done to you in the past and that would not make for a long lasting relationship.

But, I do not agree that you have to pay back in the same coin. What will you derive from a showdown? A momentary sense of victory maybe, but how long will that last? In Life, you often have disappointments. The way forward is not revenge but learning from those moments. Take pride in yourself, that you gave the relationship your best shot. That the other person, now realizes it and wants to repent is an indication of that.

Don’t stoop low. Be magnanimous. I know that it is easier said than done. A Gentleman rarely gives threats. You don’t have to raise your voice. Tell her firmly it is finished. The fact that she has tried to contact you so many times indicates that you are still wavering in your mind.

Finally, Never tell anyone what advice you need or do not need. That is a sign of arrogance. Let them give their Advice. It is for you to choose the Best one in your interest and act on it.       

answered Jul 24 by longhands1 (71,355 points)
commented Jul 24 by gr8gaur (1,675 points)
Longhands1

Appreciate your time and to the point advice but maybe you missed something. I ain't looking for revenge or anything. If you read again, it's been almost a year since break up and I haven't done anything. No calls, texts, meetings from my side. But the real point is the women says 'NO means NO', so how many times I as a guy need to say no to make her stop irritating me ? Had it been role reversal, the guy (I) would have been labelled as 'stalker', 'eve-teaser' or 'despo'. Why such hypocrisy ? What should I do apart from No contact to make her stop bothering me ? I told her not to contact me again but she's inviting trouble.
commented Jul 24 by longhands1 (71,355 points)

Gaur,

Can you explain what you meant by a Final Showdown?

You may have broken up a year ago, but for some reason, there seems to be no finality in your decision. Somewhere deep within there still is a spark, that prevents you from foreclosing the Issue.

Dont hyperventilate about Women's Nature and rights. As long as you are convinced that you are doing right, dont worry about Gender Issues.  

commented Jul 24 by gr8gaur (1,675 points)
Final showdown means asking her in front of her family/friends 'WHATS THE MATTER, WHAT WOULD YOU TAKE TO STOP CALLING/MAILING ME' ? See, in simple words it's like a taunt, scratching a wound that's healing or in my case has already healed.
0 like 0 dislike

What she did is something you should never forget but you should not at the same time think about taking revenge as revenge would not take you anywhere so I would say block her in all the possible ways and ignore her like she even does not exist.

If you keep ignoring her then one day she will understand that you are not going to be back in her life. No matter what she does I would say never think of getting back together otherwise you are setting yourself up to be hurt again when she finds a better guy than you.

Focus on your life and stay away from her. Initially she will do everything to get you back in her life as she is alone and needs some who gives her attention but if you are stubborn and keep saying her no then she will give up and move on as she is just using tactics to trap you. 

answered Jul 24 by alpesh kapdi (21,850 points)
commented Jul 24 by gr8gaur (1,675 points)
First 5-6 months we both had 0 contact, next 2-3 months she relentlessly bothered me, then silence for a month or two and now back to begging through her sis and even friends.
0 like 0 dislike
1) introduce her to your new girl-friend.  ( if you do not have one, get one)
2) Forget about confronting.  She can get you into a whole lot of trouble ( laws are such). Consider yourself lucky if  she does not create trouble for you.
answered Jul 26 by blore.guy (305 points)
commented Jul 27 by gr8gaur (1,675 points)
What sort of trouble ? When you haven't properly met a person since1 year, what can she do against me ? I wasn't the last guy in her life, can't accuse of harrassment or rape or false promise of marriage. Instead I can create havoc on social media sharing details of her calls (recorded with me), messages and chats. I have decided on my course of action, 1 more call and her entire neighborhood will know that what a despo c*** she is.
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