Please Register and complete your Profile. Age is mandatory. You will enjoy being on this Site.
Welcome to AskAnjali.com India's No 1 Sexual Health Forum. Ask Anjali and other experts & members questions on Sex, Masturbation, Relationships, Love, Affairs, Penis and much more.
Want to listen to the voice of your HOT Anjali Aunty? Click on the "Audio Answers" menu link and listen to her answer all your sexual questions.

13,956 questions

44,845 answers

33,664 comments

63,397 users

The Ask Anjali Team

Sidebar

I am just married. How to ask my wife for blowjob?

2.4K views
asked Jul 26 in Questions by Pankaj_4863 (120 points)
edited Aug 1 by longhands1

I am a 27 year old guy. I live with my family. I am newly married just 15 days back. It is an arranged marriage.

We both are like strangers. We have very limited talk. She is partially open with me. She is from rural village.

Whenever we have sex, she lies down straight, full of shyness with no sound or excitement. I am not enjoying it. I want to ask her for foreplay and blowjob, so that it will be more enjoyable for me.

How to ask her for blowjob?

Dear Member,

We are happy to welcome your Question on AA, the No. 1 Site for Sexual and Relationship Issue. We hope you will get many Answers. Please have the courtesy to “Thank” and give your comments to the Users who have taken the trouble to Reply.

Also,

1. Please complete your Profile if you have not done so. Go to My Account and update your details. Name is not mandatory, but age is compulsory. We will not approve a New Question if this is not done.

 2. Before you ask a new Question, please choose Best Answer for your earlier Question. Wait for 3-4 Answers before you select the Best Answer. If you do not do this, we will not approve your new Question.

3. Once a Question is approved, do not edit it again. If you want some changes, send me a PM (Personal Message).   

4. Do not reply to Old Posts, which are more than 6 months old. It is a waste of time.

5. Finally, do take the trouble to give Answers to questions asked by others. Your solution could shower you with the User's Blessings.

Moderator

 




Please log in or register to answer this question.

9 Answers

0 like 0 dislike
Pankaj ji

Why do you want to ask her for foreplay. Whatever you give, you will receive. You do your foreplay to her without any expectation.

For blow job, many of us (including me)  are bought up to believe that the urinal passage is meant for that purpose and to have sex. How to put our mouth there? Whenever such videos are shown, will get the reply that they receive money for doing that.

Many of our good friends here advise the blow job is good if the partner is known and hygienic conditions are maintained.

This is only my personal opinion, repeat personal view, not to demand blow job.

Congratulations for your marriage and enjoy fully.
answered Jul 26 by solliadi (1,295 points)
1 like 0 dislike
There are a lot of reasons why she might not want to do it. She may be too busy and too tired to be lavishing that kind of attention on you when sex is an easier way for both of you to get off at the same time (which I'm sure we can all understand if she is working and you are both raising a family, or for any other reason). She may not like the idea of penis and mouth contact, or she may have had a bad experience that put her off giving head (which she may or may not want to talk about, and don't ask), or it may be something else entirely.

Try to take her answer pragmatically and not as an attack on you. If you can find out the reason, you may be able to find a way to help remove the problem. If the problem is she is too busy and she is usually the dishwasher then see if she would be open to the idea of trading you washing the dishes for a blowjob, or some similar 'just before bed' chore that gives her a moment of free time to relax and get ready. How many times you have to wash the dishes for a blowjob depends on you two. Even then, when it comes to blowjob time, accept it gracefully. And remember, if she enjoys it when she gives you the blowjob, she may want to do it again so rather than just taking the blowjob as your due, make it part of a fun and mutually fulfilling sex session.

If it is just the idea of penis and mouth contact she doesn't like, don't expect her to give you full on head straight away. Maybe just introduce her to the idea that your penis is ok, slowly. Let her hold it and see it. Next time ask her to kiss it. Slowly let her work her way up to it as she feels comfortable. Be patient. If it is a bad experience that caused her to not enjoy the idea of giving head, again you will need to be patient and be the model blowjob recipient - never force her head down, don't thrust into her mouth, let her start and stop as she needs to.

During the Blowjob
Your wife doesn't like giving you head as often as you want. But to make it more likely you get more head, you are trying to make the experience of giving you head more enjoyable for your wife. Here are a few things you can try during the blowjob to make it better for her.

The most common complaint women have about giving head is the taste, so keep yourself clean. Especially if you are intending to ask for a blowjob or are expecting a blowjob, make sure you have just showered or washed yourself off with soap and water and a cloth in the basin.

Another thing you can do to make giving you a blowjob better for her is to get her turned on before she starts. If she is turned on then she will likely enjoy the sexual act of fellatio much more and it will indeed be more sexual for her and less of a chore. You can do this by cuddling and kissing before-hand, touching and all those other tricks of seduction you already know about but perhaps haven't taken the time to employ lately. Taking a shower together beforehand is an especially nice way to warm up and this way she will really know your penis is clean and ready to go down on.

If you don't have one already, get one! It's a vibrator. If you can't get her off with your fingers or mouth, take the lazy way out and use a vibrator on her clit to bring her to orgasm before you let her start. Or even better, have her lie down and every time she does something that feels really good, put the vibe on her clit (if she likes that direct contact). Move away if she slows down but when you start to feel really good, bring it closer to her clit (or where ever she really likes it).

After the Blowjob
If you want your wife or girlfriend to give you head more often, make it something she wants to do. When you take too long to come, it becomes less enjoyable so if you can't come relatively quickly (10 minutes is a long time for a lot of women) then tell her thank you and ask if she want a turn (i.e. go down on her). Once you have made her come (or been softly swirling your tongue the way she loves it for at least as long as she was doing for you), get your nut off by fucking her. After that oral you just gave her she will be ready for a good hard session. This will definitely make her see the benefit of giving you head. If you make it a more-than-reciprocal event then she will start to love giving you head!

Or if you reach climax, you probably are not ready to continue with much else in the way of sexual activity so rest. Cuddle with her if you both want to show her your love and unspoken appreciation for the selfless act of love she made to you. But don't let it end there. Show her your affection in the days afterwards too. Ask her if you can return the favor when you are in the state of mind to. Most men lose their interest in sex for a short while directly after orgasm and women feel that. But coming back a few hours or a day or so later to do something in a similarly selfless way for her, whether it be sexual or not to show your appreciation is another way to show your enjoyment and appreciation, which is the part of giving you head that she can enjoy. If you feel more loving towards her afterwards, show her with a little more physical affection (if this is something she might like). Hugs and kisses at random moments of privacy are a wonderful way to show your affection.

All the best... :)
answered Jul 26 by Ram279 (215 points)
0 like 0 dislike
sex is instinctual, so  it does not matter if she is from a village.

That said,  women expect men to take the lead in sex. If you want to indulge in more foreplay / blowjob etc, you need to let her know  it will please you if she does it, and start taking the lead.
answered Jul 26 by blore.guy (305 points)
0 like 0 dislike

I would say right now you should focus on the foreplay and when she becomes comfortable in the foreplay you could escalate your intimacy with her by going down on her. If you ask her for the blowjob right now then it would be shocking for her and she may get feared so better to increase the foreplay.

There is no need to talk to her about it just start kissing her and start folding her boobs before fucking her. You can finger her and see her reaction, I am sure she will enjoy the sensation and when you think that she ready for the foreplay, go down on her without asking the favor return because you have to make her comfortable with you going down on her in the first place and when she becomes habitual with your tongue on her vagina you can ask her to give you the return pleasure.

You have long way to go and patience is the key. However, it has been only 15 days so do not judge her that she is not good in the sex as with time she may be opened with you and you may be surprised with her moves as that is possible in the arrange marriage so do not  worry and see what time brings for you. 

answered Jul 27 by alpesh kapdi (21,860 points)
0 like 0 dislike
You are newly married.Establish cordial relationship with your wife.Enjoy her sexually.Try to satisfy her.What is the hurry,for doing blowjob.Start from 69...it may be helpful for her.If she is totally disagreeable,go slow and give oral sex to her then take her to Konarak and Khajuraho Temples.She will see many erotic sculptures there.It will change her mind.My wife first time gave me blowjob when she was pregnant.
answered Jul 27 by Motilal (6,020 points)
0 like 0 dislike
shadi ke baad bhe itni sharam?

bro  just comfort her start foreplay and lick her and ask her to do the same for you starting by kiss.

she will be reluctant at first so have patience.
answered Jul 27 by myselfarun (670 points)
0 like 0 dislike
Bro
Congratulations to you for your marriage and you are lucky as you are enjoying your sex life.
As you said that you both are like strangers and you do not talk much then how you are initiating sex?
And you said that you dont know how to ask her for foreplay then how you are able to do sex with her without foreplay?
How are you doing sex without talking to each other?
As according to your question if you want to enjoy blowjob then first you have to give her a great oral experience. take her to climax by your mouth then in the moment of heat if you are lucky she will definitely give you a blowjob just initiate blowjob by just giving you dick in her hand and all the best.
answered Jul 27 by nishi18 (150 points)
0 like 0 dislike
It will take time man ,it will take time.Its very difficult to convince a lady for blowjob if she very shy or very innocent.She will feel bad to do it.Give some time to your relationship,make her easy during sex and give her pleasure.It would be better if you start with licking her pussy which will let her think to give you a blowjob.
answered Aug 1 by rockybaba21 (280 points)
0 like 0 dislike
Hi, the actual problem lies in your question itself which you are unable to see. As you said that you both are like strangers to each other so first of all be the good friends, you have the entire life to enjoy sex with each other.

First develop that level of understanding where she can share her feelings and sexual fantasies with you. She might have been taught to fulfill the wish of her husband and that could be the reason is just lying under you and not providing any inputs from her.

Before asking for a Blow job or any other sexual favor, I would suggest you to develop intimacy with her, download any Kamasutra type,sensual or erotic porn and watch with her. Since she is from rural India, I think you should start with Hollywood films which have bed scenes, this could help her to break ice with you.
answered Aug 3 by iGaurav (105 points)

Related questions

3 answers 1.8K views
3 answers 2.4K views
2,353 views asked Apr 3, 2015 in Questions by rehanmystrey (205 points)
8 answers 5.9K views
5 answers 5.0K views
...