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How to have a better sexual relationship with my wife?

1.5K views
asked Sep 20 in Questions by gyan (150 points)
edited Sep 25 by longhands1

I am 30 years old, married for 1.5 years. My wife is 29 year old. I love my wife and she also loves me back. Only problem is, our sex life.

My complaints:

She does not like to kiss, especially on lips, she feels its disgusting. Some time we even tried to make toungue contact but she retracted very quickly. She feels its tasteless.  She frequently compilents my advancement face/mouth towards her mouth.

She dont like to have intercource with the lights on, I protested many time. Now some time she oblidge/ some time we had sex in day time also.

She does not like to be completely naked. She wants to keep at least one cloth like blouse on her. Once or twice, I requested her and she became completely naked, but still she was uncomfortable. However, two-three times we bathed together, after requesting her many times.

During the early part of our marriage, she was too ticklish, even touching of her boobs was difficult. Now she cooperates.

There is another problem. Recently, she is having severe breast  pain for 1.5 months. I dont blame for her. I pity her.

I voluntarily did oral job on her many times, She seems to enjoy, but never expressed it, and never asked for it. She always says enough after some point. I never asked for any oral, as I dont think she will ever do it (how can I ask one who refuses to kiss on the mouth to give blow job)?

She performed handjob sometimes with my request. But I can feel she is doing all because of my force/demand.  I requested sometimes to have intercouse with better innerwears/saree but my requests denied continously.

Now we are trying to have a baby. I am hoping atleast now, I will get the pleasure of intercouse. But some time I hate my self for this joyless sex. From her perspective she never thinks foreplay is necessary for sex, which I hate to the core.

Who knows, May be I am over exepecting.

Except for these sexual tensions, we love each other very much.

Help me please.....

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2 Answers

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Best answer
These things happen with the women who are conservative and grown up in an environment where they have been persistently being taught by their elders that they sex is a taboo act and one should not do it otherwise God will get angry on them and it is a really hard job to make them convince that sex is a natural requirement of the body and there is nothing wrong in it because religious things are involved in it. If she is an educated person then you should give her a few books which may make her appreciate the importance of the sex in the relationship but if she is not then be ready to face the worse situation in the way of making her understand.

One thing you should keep in mind that you cannot make her understand about the sex as you are not qualified for that and it needs so I would say you should start thinking about seeking the professional help and the marriage counselor may help you who can talk to her and give her third party perspective on the subject.

You have to gradually make her ready to see the counselor and then put rest of the job on the marriage counselor to handle these issues as they are expect in such cases and can handle it professionally to make the impact. You need to show the patience at the same time as these things cannot be changed overnight. It seems that she carries so many myths about the sex so the road is not good for you to go ahead but there are ways so never lose the hope.
answered Sep 21 by alpesh kapdi (21,850 points)
selected Oct 18 by gyan
0 like 0 dislike
This is a complicated topic,  There could be so many reasons,  ( from your hygiene, to her health) , that it is best you seek  professional help to sort this out.
answered Sep 29 by blore.guy (305 points)
commented Oct 15 by gyan (150 points)
edited Oct 16 by gyan
I suspected about my hygiene some times. I had bathed and brushed properly. But she would tell directly if any hygiene issues. Many times I asked, Why don't you like to kissed whether my breath smells which made her sad. She told simply she don't like the act. Some time moustache stings / make her jiggle.

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