This is a wonderful skill for a man to have when making love to your female partner, or when he wishes to provide the greatest pleasure to his woman during sex. While most couples' foreplay involves a little playing with the vulva and clitoris before sexual intercourse, few couples consider making it their main sexual activity during a session of lovemaking. If you want a change, or you'd like to impress your lover, why not try something different? Make her the main focus by giving her a vulval /clitoral massage.
Couples with physical limitations can enjoy clitoral massage, as can pregnant women who want to enjoy sexual pleasure and orgasm but cannot manage vaginal intercourse. Those who are limited by their disability and unable to enjoy intercourse fully can get great satisfaction from clitoral massage, as can men with erectile dysfunction who wish to give their female lover an orgasm.
And if premature ejaculation is a problem for you, satisfying your lover like this before you start intercourse can give her satisfaction even if you come very quickly.
Locating Her Clitoris
Before you start you obviously need to know where to find your partner's clitoris! You also need to know what it looks like and how she likes it to be handled. So if you're not familiar with this, you need to do some discovery work, with her co-operation, with the lights very definitely on! This is no time for sexual shyness! That's the only way you can find out all you need to know.
Have her undress, with enough garments on to keep her warm, and lie on a bed where you have easy access to her clitoris and vulva. If she's on a chair, you could kneel in front of her, or if she's on the bed you could kneel at the side as she lies there with her legs up at the knees. In any event, choose a position in which you are both comfortable. Make sure that you can see her clitoral area - you may need to find a suitable light which will illuminate her genitals. If she is interested in the process too, have a mirror located in a suitable place so that she can join in the fun!
Begin by taking a good look at the area as it is at rest. Don't be rough, be gentle. Don't poke your fingers into her labia; tease them apart gently, and use a little lubrication, perhaps a little saliva. It will be uncomfortable for her if you treat her genitals roughly and try to explore them when they are dry.
Start by looking at her vulva with her outer labia unaroused. Be gentle as you examine everything, using your fingers to caress - check out the softness of her labia and the texture and color of her hair. Use your cupped hand to press gently on her vulva and feel its warmth - if she is extremely hairy, ask her if a trim is in order, so that you can enjoy looking at her delightful vulva more clearly.
Next part the outer labia using your fingers, and have a good look at the inner labia and the vaginal opening. You should be able to see her inner labia, her unaroused clitoris, her urinary opening and the opening to her vagina. She may want to look at this herself using a mirror - or she may be content to help you by parting her labia with her hands so you can see what lies within.
If you really do not know where her clitoris is, see if she can guide you to it! Since the general plan of our genitals is the same, but the detail can be very different, in both men and women, it may be easiest to ask her for guidance. For example, the size and shape of the inner labia vary hugely, and they may even be absent in some women.
A large clitoris should present you with no problems in finding it, but the majority of clitorises are actually quite small when they are not aroused, and her clit may be hidden by tissue or the folds of her labia so that she may only be able to guide you to it by the sense of her own touch. If neither of you know where it is, see a website with lots of pictures of the vagina to guide you.
Once you have located her clitoris, find the clitoral shaft (also known as the body of her clitoris), he clitoral glans, and the clitoral hood or prepuce. In some women, the clitoral hood will not retract and the smooth surface of the glans will not be seen; in such cases, you may still be able to feel it under the hood, and to feel the shaft of her clitoris under her skin.
But again, to illustrate the variability of sexual anatomy, there are very thin clitoral shafts which can be hard to feel. If your lover has a clitoris like this, then you may only be able to feel the shaft when her clitoris is erect. Your fingertips are the best and most sensitive part of your body for exploring this area - though your lips may give her more pleasant sensations! As with all clitoral play, you need to be extremely respectful of her sensitivity.