Please Register and complete your Profile. Age is mandatory. You will enjoy being on this Site.
Welcome to AskAnjali.com India's No 1 Sexual Health Forum. Ask Anjali and other experts & members questions on Sex, Masturbation, Relationships, Love, Affairs, Penis and much more.
Want to listen to the voice of your HOT Anjali Aunty? Click on the "Audio Answers" menu link and listen to her answer all your sexual questions.

14,221 questions

45,609 answers

34,201 comments

63,698 users

The Ask Anjali Team

Sidebar

I am married. Starved of Sex. Should I accept these offers from Gays for BDSM Sex?

2.6K views
asked Nov 19, 2017 in Questions by Malemumbai (195 points)
Hi Friends,

I am 37 years of age. 13 years back, I had an arranged marraige. My wife is like a typical Indian girl who doesnt have much interest in sex, where as I enjoy normal as well as kinky sex.

I like to try out different things like role play, dirty chat and BDSM. Unfrotunately, she doesnt have any interest in all of these which made our sex life boring. Then 3 years back, my father expired and being the only son, my mother moved with us and since then due to not having a seperate bedroom, we started sleeping in the same room, and thus our sex life has became a zero.  My wife has got new excuse of my mother for not having a sex.

Since last 3 years, due to lack of sex, it has started taking toll on my body and mind and now a days I feel crazy and always think of sex. At the same time, while doing the sex chat on BDSM site, many bottom and gays contacted me and offered to have sex with them.

Anal sex is my favorite thing and my wife hates it like anything. I am not a gay so I never accepted those invitations. Now, a few gay slaves contacted me who enjoyed BDSM and are ready to do whatever I wish to do.

That is a tempting offer for a sex hungry person like me. On the one end, I am not getting a chance to have normal sex but on the other hand, having invitations from bottom slaves who enjoy getting spanked, tortured, domination, and anal sex.

Now I am really confused and dont know what to do? I hope someone from Askanjali will guide me.

Regards

Jai
commented Jan 4 by longhands1 (75,100 points)
Malemumbai,

You have not chosen Best Answer for this Question and the earlier ones. You have to choose Best Answer and then only ask a New Question. Your new question is rejected till you do so.

Moderator



Please log in or register to answer this question.

6 Answers

0 like 0 dislike
 
Best answer
You have a right to have sex and if you are not getting it from your wife then you can seek it from outside but that is a risky as that may put your healthy in trouble and that would be a permanent solution. You should look for the permanent solution and that solution your wife can only provide you so talk to her and let her know about your needs.

You both should arrange something so your mom cannot be a problem in between you two. If possible then find a rented place where three of you can move in and you guys can have separate room to have your privacy. If wife does not show any interest then there is a problem in your life and you have to rethink on your marriage life.

There might be possibility that your wife cannot match your libido but she can try to meet you half the way which is fine for both of you. Therefore, first thing you should do is a find a place where you can get a separate room to sleep with your wife and this is understandable situation and I am sure your mom will support you in this regard as she must be aware that you guys need privacy to have sex as that is normal. Keep communicating your feelings with your wife and let her know what you expect from her.
answered Nov 20, 2017 by alpesh kapdi (22,620 points)
selected Jan 4 by Malemumbai
commented Nov 28, 2017 by Malemumbai (195 points)
Dear Alpesh,

Sorry for late reply. Renting a room just to have sex is extremely difficult and uneconomical  for me. and regarding the libido of my wife, I think she doesn't have any desire at all.

Whenever we are alone, she never even kisses me or tries to come close to me.
0 like 0 dislike
Jai
I read your earlier queries. Do you have any children at 37? You also mentioned that you cum in 3 minutes. Is it the reason for your wife to stay away? I do not see privacy as a reason for not having sex for years. One can always find time and space. Are you continuing with your lady friend? Now you have tasted two and have more experience. Master the basics first.
answered Nov 21, 2017 by solliadi (1,705 points)
commented Nov 28, 2017 by Malemumbai (195 points)
Dear Solliadi,

Yes, I do have a child. Regarding cumming in 3 minutes, I have learned to control my ejaculation to greater extent. I have broken up with my girl friend hence I don't have any other option to have sex.

My concern is: I wish to have a sex with a girl who loves to ENJOY sex, wants to do new things, who is kinky not the one who always complains if trying new thing and doing sex only because I want it.
commented Dec 5, 2017 by solliadi (1,705 points)
Malemumbai
When you met this new girl? I read that you have asked whether to accept the offer from Gays for BDSM.
0 like 0 dislike
Cant you just hire a prostitute and fuck instead of those gays?
See I know ii ts quite frustrating for you to not having sex regularly.
answered Nov 21, 2017 by myselfarun (895 points)
0 like 0 dislike
hi

first of all I want to say is that, I saw many women from typical Indian background, who have high sex drive. so being typical is not issue here.

the main problem is how you make love to her. may be she is not comfortable with your lovemaking. so try to improve on that.

before giving you answer I read your previous questions. You had sexual relation past. as you were able to manage that outside your house so if you are not getting enough time with your wife try to go to some hotel which are safe. have sex there.

keeps us updated on your situation
answered Nov 25, 2017 by Harsh.03 (535 points)
0 like 0 dislike
Go ahead and fuck a Guy who has a place for this, you wouldn't become gay if you have sex with them
answered Jan 4 by rockstar536 (575 points)
0 like 0 dislike
You are frustrated with your sex life, because of not having sex with you wife, and this frustration is the main reason that you are looking for outside sex. But trust me outside sex is not a solution. Any women who will come into your life will come with a reason, and she will remain till that reason gets fulfilled. That is why it has no future.

Your mother and your wife can solve this. I think you need to take your wife for counceling. Also you need to talk to your mother, that since you do not have another room for making love, you need privacy for some time, at least 1-2 hours at night for making love. I hope your mother also understand this, and supports you in this.

Do you all three sleep on same bed? if yes, then you need to arrange a bed for your mother. Or if you have another room, or kitchen or somewhere for a short time till you make love. Your mother should understand this very clearly that you two need private time for making love. It is a need of every human being.

If you all agree, you can put curtains in your bedroom and make separate space for your mother and both of you. In Mumbai I know one of my friend, they have 1BHK, where 2 couple and parents live, so both sons decided to give bedroom to mom-dad and they both brother and wives sleep in hall, making partition with curtain. They can hear sound of each other while making love, but its ok, its natural. They do not have other options so they understand the need of time and it is successful.

You need to understand that your problem cannot be solved outside; it is your inner problem and can be solved only within your family.

Hope this will help you.
answered Jan 10 by sheetal69 (460 points)
...