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Do you think I should marry my boyfriend?

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asked Nov 24 in Questions by hotty_lavanya (120 points)
edited Nov 29 by longhands1

Hi,

I'm Lavanya, 37 years old. I'm from Kerala. I'm divorced once and married another guy. He is 41 years old. He is having a small business. I have a daughter from my first husband. She is 16 years old.

We both met through a matrimonial site and went for dating and had sex many times and then decided to get married. Recently, I met a guy through the same matrimonial site. He is also married. We became friends. He calls me everyday and we have some sweet talks.

One week ago, we met each other at a coffee shop and I was surprised to see him. He is only 26 years old. He was so huge and muscular. He said that he is not having good relationship with his wife. His wife is not interested in sex.

I couldn't sleep that night. I was so horny that I did sex with my husband many times that night. Next day, we went to a house in a village. It was a small village and no houses were nearby. The house was surrounded by rubber trees but it wasn't a rubber estate.

There we had sex from morning to evening. We got tired and we went back home next morning. But my husband was angry with me because he was having doubts about me. Yesterday, my Friend asked me to marry him and divorce my husband. He is also ready to divorce his wife and accept my daughter.

Yesterday, I wore very tight churidar and very tight leggings to movies when he insisted. I liked this very much. He wanted me to expose my body. Now I can't control my lust for him.

Do you think I should marry him?

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7 Answers

0 like 0 dislike
Lavanya,

Lust and Sex is one thing, Marriage is a different kettle of fish. If both are together, that would be ideal and great.

I think you are rushing matters. You need to think about this carefully. For one, you both are married. Do you think Divorce is so easy to get? It takes years for a settlement. On what grounds would you ask for divorce? You and your Husband are having sex (many times in a night when you are fantasizing about your friend). Your husband will contest the divorce fiercely.

And then there is the little matter about your daughter. Have you sounded her out? What makes you think that she will meekly accept a third man as her father? She will raise hell.

You have not told us the reason for your first divorce.  

The fact that you met this young man on a Matrimonial Site, indicates that you both are looking for a shift in the present relationship.

It is a common excuse of all men, that their wives are not giving them enough Sex and hence they are looking for an affair. Since you are thinking long term (marriage), you need to know everything about this man. Find an excuse to meet his wife. While not all men are crooks, there are many of them around.

I am curious to know what excuse you gave your husband and daughter for staying out for the night.

Have as much Sex as you desire, but be cautious before you agree to marry him.
answered Nov 24 by longhands1 (73,095 points)
commented Nov 25 by hotty_lavanya (120 points)
My first divorce was years back when I was 25. It was arranged marriage. First husband was a drunkyard. He comes home and beat me like I was an animal. I divorced him after I discussed with my parents.
About the incident I told my husband that one of my friend admitted to hospital in critical stage. But he said that he is not believing that reason. I'm sure that my daughter will accept my feelings and there's reasons for that. I will mention it in another question that I want to ask about my daughter.
0 like 0 dislike
You both can keep sex relationship
But dont just hurry for divorce..
answered Nov 24 by manil (175 points)
0 like 0 dislike
Labanya,

I am against you, marrying new boy friend as he is much younger than you. He will his divorce his wife to marry you. It is a sinful act.

You will commit blunder, if you marry your boy friend. On what basis you are planning to discard your husband. You have written nothing about him.

Compromise and adjust with your husband. Your daughter's life will be more secure.
answered Nov 24 by Motilal (6,220 points)
1 like 0 dislike
First thing you did wrong was that you had not deactivated your profile at the matrimonial site after you got married to your husband who you found there. You do not have a solid ground to divorce your husband and marry your boyfriend as sex is not base to get married to him.

Moreover, it seems that you may not have a future with him since he is way younger than you and one day he will lose interest in you when you will reach the age where sex would not be your priority. He wants to leave his wife to have sex with you because you are ready always and do not have any problem in spreading your legs for him so you have to be ready in the future that he will leave you when someone else he finds out who is ready to offer her vagina to him as he wants sex only.

He can leave you for another woman if he leaves his wife for you as he is capable of doing it. Why you want to leave your present husband who seems mature and perfect for you. You should take any decision keeping a long term plan in your mind. I would say stop having sex with your boyfriend and focus on your married life and make sure that your husband is happy with you. There are many things in married life apart from sex so do not ruin your happy married life just to get under your boyfriend.

Are you sure that your boyfriend is the man for you with whim you can spend your rest of the life?
answered Nov 25 by alpesh kapdi (22,130 points)
0 like 0 dislike
first of all, how can any matrimony site allowed profiles which are already married.
I mean as you are married now, why you didn't shut your profile at that site.
Most of the profile on this sites are fake. so he may be a fake person who only want to get sleep with you. he may take your pics or videos to later blackmail you.

as your current husband, I see him good guy. coz many people are hesitate to marry a divorce lady or  a widow  lady and if she have kids from past marriage they refused to accept that kids. your husband not only accept you but your daughter also. you must respect him for that.

now about sex. sex is important but it's only temporary thing. talk with your husband if you are not sexually satisfied with him. if you discuss this with him you can get a good solution for that.

so your question was should you divorce your husband to marry that guy.
I must say absolutely not. as that guy may be fake and risking many things for just sex is not good idea. you should avoid that guy as much you can.

hope you understand what I wanted to say. still any doubts ask here.
answered Nov 25 by Harsh.03 (510 points)
0 like 0 dislike
You didn't tell about why you got divorce?  Is it a pattern?  You get bored very easily?
answered Nov 25 by gr8gaur (1,730 points)
0 like 0 dislike
What is there if he is 26? It doesn't matter.

About  your question, Yes you can marry but the thing you have to decide is what to do with your current husband?

Also check if your bf has everything you want in a person as a hubby?
answered Nov 26 by myselfarun (760 points)
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