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I am unable to get over this girl I saw on a matrimonial site. What to do?

875 views
asked Jan 7 in Questions by reluctant_satyr (160 points)
edited Jan 8 by longhands1

I am 31 years old and have been using matrimonial sites for the past three years. During my initial days itself, I came across a girl's profile put up by her father and instantly took a liking to her. She's very beautiful yet simple looking, hailed from my native district and belonged to the same caste as mine. But I never tried to make contact as I was insecure about my looks (I am bald), and she clearly mentioned she was looking for a handsome guy. Moreover, due to some family issues, we have left our homeplace when I was in my teens and don't wish to return to that area ever. After feeling sad for my predicament for close to two years, I finally kind of moved on.

But some six months ago, I received an interest from her. I couldn't believe this. I discussed this with my mother, who advised me to decline the interest as we cannot go near our homeplace and our horoscopes didn't even remotely match. With a heavy heart, I declined the message citing my inability to connect due to family issues. I have started to feel sad again. A couple of days later, after discussing with my close friend, I sent her a mail apologizing for declining her interest and even tried to make contact over WhatsApp with her father but no reply came.

Since then, I have tried to initiate a chat with her many times to no avail. She's of the same age as me, beautiful and belongs to a conservative family but surprisingly is unable to find a match. Finally today, she declined my message.

I know this is kind of stupid but I am unable to get over her. I have this feeling that I lost a great opportunity when she herself reached out to me. How do I deal with this?

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4 Answers

0 like 0 dislike
Reluctant Satyr
It is not at all a big issue - if you have decided to marry her.  First you ask yourself  whether you have made up your mind or still wavering.
If you have decided to marry her - you go for the second opinion with some other astroleger. You convince your mother about your choice.  
Inform their family through a common friend or relative and go to her home alongwith your mother.

I say, you have not missed any opportunity. Act quickly.
answered Jan 8 by solliadi (1,725 points)
0 like 0 dislike
She has done the right thing.What type of interest you got from her.....is not clear. Remember that matrimony seeking girls are not toys/dolls of your hand.You can't play with them as you like.Change your attitude and go ahead.
answered Jan 8 by Motilal (6,425 points)
0 like 0 dislike
Hi reluctant_ satyr
                                 My friend make up your mind first. Discuss this matters with your parents. Be clear from your side. If possible then visit girl home or approach though friends or other family member.

Don't worry This kind of thing happens, it is quiet normal.
answered Jan 9 by Kitkatray (320 points)
0 like 0 dislike
Bro this is a twin problem (1) your family isnt agreeing and (2) she has declined.
I also took 3 years to find a bride who would accept me the way i am, my avg looks, salary, location etc. I have been rejected by too many women to count. I have also rejected women who kept pestering me to meet them again for give a second chance. This is a part of arrange marraige and it pains us till the time we finally meet our match. It happened with me also. Girls whom i liked rejected my bio data without even talking / meeting for flimsy reasons. Some even met twice and rejected me for whatever reason. However we need to learn to move on. This pain of lost opportunities and rejection got over when i found a suitable match after 3 yrs if searching. Now i m happily married for 8 months. Hope the same happens to you also.

I sometimes do feel that i could have got a better match but these thoughts will slowly subside. This is
 a part of arranged marriage.
answered 2 days ago by Vikki G (220 points)

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