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Should I wish my Ex on her Birthday?

+2 votes
985 views
asked Feb 5, 2013 in Questions by just_vibe (245 points)
edited Feb 5, 2013 by Invincible
I was in a relationship with my ex girlfriend for the last 7 years. We wanted to get married but due to parental pressures we had to break up. She got married to some other guy last year and since then I haven't talked to her. Last year on her Birthday I didn't wish her also. But when I cleared my CA she did congratulate me on FB. Its her birthday this month and I am not sure if I should wish her. I am scared to face her because I know, the moment we talk I will loose control and break down but on the other hand I also feel the need to get some closure on her. Kindly advise me whether I should message her or not?
commented Feb 11, 2013 by Invincible (12,575 points)

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6 Answers

+2 votes

I don’t think there is a reason for you to contact her again. You both loved each other but that is in the past and now you might ponder as to what is there in a little birthday wish, but as you mentioned you cannot control yourself and pour yourself out there, she might feel your love out and might get into a dilemma. Just message her over FB, a casual birthday wish, thats it.

I don’t think contacting her is good since, this way you can build up the gap and can get used to the fact that you people can never be together ever again. 7yrs relationship is no small thing and it would take a saint to not make any move or advance once the two of your catch up for the old times sake. Either of you would surely bring up the topic of ‘its difficult without you’ and that might mean different to your respective minds. I presume she is now happily married and is getting used to living her life with her husband, so you trying to bring the issue to a close would surely disturb her peace of mind.

You of all the people know, you can never get back, so learn to accept that fact and move on and wipe her memories away. After all she will always remain your 1st love, retain only this single thought and move on with your life.

Wish her, but don't contact her.

answered Feb 5, 2013 by Invincible (12,575 points)
commented Feb 20, 2013 by escort (195 points)
edited Feb 20, 2013 by escort
dear  Invincible, i m not agree , sorry bt commenting you - no harm in contacting her or him. she contacted him for CA stuffs. right. he is still in her mind or memories ... it means their is something missing with her, and her hero only can fix it. believe me dude, it happens. and you are talking about mind - grt.
yes' "its difficult without you" funda will take place, but at least they communicate and accept their facts in life. i cant understand why you people are so  afraid to face life ... or learn it from animals. if humans cant.

well, thnx to FB or whoever the owner of FB is - or else, we practically do not contact to our loved once. right  Invincible ??? do not think, feel it. you will get your answer.

and i think, only weak people can not dare to face the life. i m not much literate like you guys, but i think, if education etc makes people like this, than i m lucky enough not to be too educated. at least i face every probs in life.

sorry if i hurt u somewhere, but .. u know man, life ko easy lene ka, sorry , do not mind. its just my personal opinion becoz ur answer is separating two people. not connecting.

can't you see, that both are thinking about each other. finding reasons to communicate. dude, zahar ko zahar se hi nikaala jaata hain, (in hindi)
commented Feb 20, 2013 by Invincible (12,575 points)

I don't mind you posting a comment to my answer but make sure you never post anything in Hindi ever again, if you do, your post would be rejected right away.

Editor.

+2 votes
Yes you should wish her on her birthday See buddy you were in intimate relationship with each other Though you could not get married it does not mean that the world has ended ! In fact it has not!It was the golden phase of both of yours lives and none of you can ever forget either that phase or each other And though she got married to another guy she still somewhere has love for you and it will be always there that is why she congratulated you Otherwise why on the earth did she wished you?So married or not you should wish her but try to avoid having any further relations apart from formal
occasions as it would be detrimental to both of yours lives do not cross the limits And please consider yourself lucky that you are in position to contact her on such occasion.  As  a friend of mine was in love and they could not marry Today almost after 27 years he is still searching her whereabouts as during that time society was not that tech savvy so he can not search her on any networking site too ( he had tried but could not find her ) . So just keep formal relations !
answered Feb 5, 2013 by prashant69 (6,620 points)
+2 votes
Yes, you should wish her on such a special day of her life irrespective of your relationship status in the past but yes you should go for any other mode regarding wishing her....i mean go for your flowers, greetings instead of personal interaction while wishing her because both you never can deny the emotions and love you have shared in those seven years and don't put yourself as well as her in any kind of unnecessary dilemma. You should also realize the face that she is married now from quite sometime now and she haven't talked to you, so i can assume that she already moved ahead and leading good and happy married life, so let it be and don't bring old memories which might can shake her emotionally.

Hope my words are not annoying in anyways because my answer  is completely based on whatever you have mentioned.

Happy Birthday to your friend. Best of luck.
answered Feb 6, 2013 by divya.elegance (1,280 points)
+1 vote
yes there is no reason you should not, you deserve to get some closure , but keep in mind she is married and that you two are not getting back together , there is no harm to remain friends with ur ex takes hard work but life is easier
answered Feb 6, 2013 by parik89 (2,190 points)
–1 vote

just vibe,

You will gain nothing by wishing her on her birthday. On the contrary it will open old wounds. Since a long time has elapsed, since you both parted, it would be better to keep it that way. As you your self has admitted you will lose control and possibly make a fool of your self. 

You have not said whether you are married. If not it is better to let this birthday too pass.

answered Feb 6, 2013 by longhands1 (56,930 points)
0 votes
hay just_vibes, idiot, Did you actually love her , deeply ??? is your love sooooo weak that you need to ask others -  if communicate with her or not ???
huh !
you may find 2 parts of your post- some say yes, some may say no. if u do not have any reason to talk, then you do not have reasons also NOT talk to her ?

listen your inner voice. instead of asking people. and yes, be strong, mature. do not give her a reason to cry that she loved a weak fag, OK. be a man. a mature man, a MAN, not a boy.

and vibes, love doesn't need any reasons. it's love. remember your good time with her. (if u have :D ... sorry, pulling ur legs, man) and yes, meet her hubby also, my personal advice. for a healthy relation. she recall good times, so that she called you.

i read that she call u for your CA stuffs, becoz it was a big day for you, and you are "thinking" ??? boss, love is all about sacrifice and giving without wishes. OK. do not be a selfish fool. rest is up to you. it's ur life or love or whatever...

BTW vibes, many of us are not lucky like you to express our feelings, due to many reasons in life, you are getting, go for it. who knows, you die or she die and one of you keep rubbing your feet ???

a personal request, do it. if not for you or for her, then consider it for a person, who is far far away to you and (still) crying becoz his love did not gave him a chance to express... and he is dying. it's not a filmi scene boss, just go for it.

for one more day - read this book. i forget the author, but some "MITCH" name was written.

bye. and all the best to you and her B'day.
answered Feb 20, 2013 by escort (195 points)

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