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Is it okay to be physical with my best guy friend?

6.0K views
asked Feb 13, 2013 in Questions by kanishka (290 points)
edited Feb 14, 2013 by Anjali

My best friend confessed to me that he finds me very sexy and wants to have sex with me and if I don't want it, then he ased me to atleast masturbate him or do foreplay. He has touched my breast sometimes since he confessed.

I don't wanna loose my best friend and can't see him unhappy. What to do?

featued question
commented Feb 14, 2013 by Unseenguy (230 points)
moved Feb 14, 2013 by Invincible
After listen Kanishka story i just tell 1 Incident that was tweet almost 1 weak ago in TWITTER by Sunny Leone
RAPE IS NOT A CRIME, ITS JUST A SUPRISE SEX
commented Feb 14, 2013 by parik89 (2,190 points)
moved Feb 14, 2013 by Invincible
this guy is sexually harrasing you taking advantage of you and you want to be his friend, if he really liked in that way he would have waited for u to be ready for your first time with him to be special romantic so leave him as soon as u can
commented Feb 14, 2013 by kanishka (290 points)
edited Feb 14, 2013 by Invincible
I have got something very different answer in my private messages.
Two guys have said that, they do with their best friend and they are happy with it.

Guys, why didn't you answer here?
Why telling in secret?
commented Feb 15, 2013 by Dreamrana (215 points)
edited Feb 15, 2013 by Dreamrana
Dear, beware of him, as u r emotionally attached to him, he may compell u afterwards, emotionally. N my suggestions is dont trust him.
commented Feb 15, 2013 by hsridhara (255 points)
moved Feb 16, 2013 by Invincible
You have not written your age. But if you have crossed 16 then what are you waiting for? Each day is precious. Make best use of your youthful days. But take care and protection. Sex is not a taboo. Worship it.
commented Feb 16, 2013 by Invincible (12,550 points)

KANISHKA,

We encourage you to select the answer that you find most helpful the best. It gives you 5points for selecting an answer the best. All you have to do is click on the tick mark present on the left hand side of every answer.  After all it is the least you can do to appreciate the answers you receive.

Do let the respondents know your feedback. Wait till you receive a minimum of 6-7 answers. And don’t flag any answer you get because flagging means the answer contains objectionable content, so unless you find such content don’t do it. You can either like or dislike the answer by way of casting your vote by clicking on the up or down arrow present on the top left of every answer.

commented Feb 17, 2013 by kanishka (290 points)
@invincible : and what if I am not satisfied with any answer for my question?
commented Feb 17, 2013 by Invincible (12,550 points)

Leave that at it.




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9 Answers

1 like 0 dislike
 
Best answer

kanishka,

I have read your question and some of your comments. He may be your best friend, but you need to decide how you want to treat the issue. Do you fear that you will lose his friendship if you refuse to have sex with him? If this is the case, your friendship is not true. One does not have the moral right to force one into a sexual relationship unless one desires to have it.

Do not for a moment fool yourself that it will end with foreplay or masturbation. It will not. Are you willing to take the next step and have sex. If you have willingly let him fondle your breast, it indicates that you have no objection to his physical contact. Moments of passion cannot be controlled, unless you have attained a high level of yoga or such science. Getting physical is actually a mental choice. You will need to give this relatiosnship a long hard thought. I see trouble brewing.  

answered Feb 22, 2013 by longhands1 (71,455 points)
selected Mar 1, 2013 by kanishka
commented Mar 1, 2013 by kanishka (290 points)
thanks for your well structured thought and putting it in nice manner. I appreciate it
3 like 0 dislike

Gawd......!!!!! Girls are pretty dumb, dumber than most guys in fact. For starters, you guys aren’t dating and don’t have any feelings for each other except for the fact that he loves your body and wants to sleep with you. Just so you know, if every guy gets to have sex with the girl he likes, you know what the girl gets called??? Right now only 2 words are on the top of my mind, one is a **** and the other one is a whore. Excuse the expression.

What exactly were you thinking when you entered this question? That guy wants to merely use you for pleasuring himself. And how can you be so naive saying I cannot loose my best friend and also cannot stand to see him dull, god what are you woman? Be mature and assess the situation on hand. Now if you give in to his puppy *** eyes, he would surely use you and might even act as your pimp. Here is what it looks like, ‘I want you to pleasure my friends so my name doesn’t get spoiled’; ‘I am in need of money so I need you to sleep with men so I could earn some’.

Get as far as you can from that pervert if you don’t want yourself being in an awkward position later on in your life. Befriend people with whom your value gets increased and not with the scum bag friend like yours who is degrading you. You might say, he has confessed at least, but if a guy gets to have sex after confessing, I’m sure there would be no rapes or sexual harassments in the entire world. Get away from him for your own saftey. And no, don't give in to his proposals and have sex with him, avoid him and threaten him that you would complaint to your parents or his parents if he approaches you again.

answered Feb 13, 2013 by Invincible (12,550 points)
commented Feb 14, 2013 by divya.elegance (1,280 points)
First time ever i have noticed such disrespectful or even abusive language from your side for a woman, which is really disappointing to see, irrespective of the kind of question asked by her. Yes that's right, that we females are more on the diplomatic side and like to take or enjoy things, more in a pretending manner but more because of narrow minded and double standard Indian society. With all due respect, i would like to say that every one has right to choose whatever they want and we are not good enough to abuse anyone at all or showing any kind of disrespect because of their decision.
commented Feb 14, 2013 by Invincible (12,550 points)
edited Feb 14, 2013 by Invincible

1st things 1st, except for the fact that I’ve addressed this girl as dumb and immature, I don’t think I have ‘abused’ or used ‘derogatory’ language. However, I have used certain words to describe her plight once she gives in to him. Now as for the aspect of ‘we females are more on the diplomatic side and like to take or enjoy things, more in a pretending manner but more because of narrow minded and double standard Indian society’ I’ve mentioned “girls”  and not females or the entire women clad.

My answer was never on the grounds of restricting women freedom in this narrow minded Indian society. I haven’t asked her to sit tight and stay virgin for her future husband and be with him even if he is impotent or anything, I have asked her to be with guys who treat her good, unlike this guy. Well everyone surely has a right to live their own way, but when one asks you “should I?”, I think that means that one person is asking/looking for an advice, so I have done what I felt like doing. She can take my advice or she can go with her mind, that clearly is none of my business. So many things are happening around me Divya and don't expect that I change/comment on every aspect without being asked.

commented Feb 14, 2013 by kanishka (290 points)
Thanks for your answer.
If I were dumb then I would have done that already. I was just asking for the ways to talk to him about that without hurting him. Its just, I couldn't ask this thing to any of my other friend so I asked here. And he is not taking advantage of me. He is same like before, he just told me his wish in a game which we were playing.

Regards
Kanishka
1 like 1 dislike
is he merely your best friend or are you into more emotional relation?has anyone confessed such thing ever? Ifeel you are too attracted to him otherwise how a girl would tolerate touching her breasts by a guy and anyway if you feel to enjoy physical pleasure with him that is also okay too! but it should be your informed decision and you should draw a certain line beyond which you guys should not go!What has happened to girls i dont know ? where has the general wiseness has gone? in other question a grown up girl wants to go for a blind date and you are allowing a guy to make
an advances to you! grow up girls men will be always men Please think 100 times before falling to their sweet talks!do not regret after some untoward happens!
answered Feb 14, 2013 by prashant69 (6,925 points)
commented Feb 14, 2013 by kanishka (290 points)
thanks for your answer

Yeah, I am emotionally attached to him and don't wanna loose him at all. And pls don't take it as if I will agree on something. I was just asking the ways to talk to him about this without hurting him. If I were dumb, I would have done with him.

Regards
Kanishka
commented Feb 14, 2013 by prashant69 (6,925 points)
If you are emotionally attached with him and do not want to loose him at all then why do not you take this relation to next level ? get into long term and permanent relation with him if you both can see future together!that will be beneficial from your point of view too!
1 like 0 dislike
Dear,
Ask yourself this where are you going in with this guy friend of yours. Do you have feelings for him. Look the way i see it is that you must like him a lot. I cannot say that how emotionally attached you are to him. But yes I believe that he is just using you. You must know your friend a lot better tell him what you feel, speak your heart out.
Lastly I in serious doubt about the part where you acknowledge him as your best friend. Believe me he would not have asked for anything like that from you. All the best
answered Feb 15, 2013 by assassin47 (270 points)
0 like 0 dislike
it is quite clear you don't want a sexual or romantic relationship with him,and the guy, your so called 'friend' seems to think of you as nothing more than a sexual object. "just jack him".he doesn't now the meaning of friendship nor respects it [or you by the way].how can he just squeeze your breasts when he knows you don't approve such a move from him?
he's just using your emotional bonding with him to satisfy his lust! emotional-blackmailing!
he's looking for cheap kicks ... so kick him where it will hut the hardest!
answered Feb 20, 2013 by sosmita1313 (125 points)
0 like 0 dislike
U said that u r emotionally attached to him since he want to have sex with you he is only physically attracted and this is a dangerous from perspective of a girl, you said you don't want to loose him but he will leave you when he will find someone better than you since he is only interested in sex, he is a clever person and knows how to use friendship for his benefit, maybe he could blackmail u afterwards with some pics so beware, get as far as possible from him
answered Feb 20, 2013 by nashedimunda (195 points)
0 like 0 dislike
if u r comfortable, go for it.
i agree, sex is not a taboo.... but i cant understand that y ur friend is sooooo desperate that he is not giving you the space, and all he thinks about his dick...

u do not wanna' loose him or just making him "happy"... well, in that case, what if u have 10-15 "best" friends wants such happiness ???

pulling ur legs, lady.... hahaha ... grow up, be mature and if u feel ok, then only allow someone to see your (ggod) show... or else do not do anything in life, which makes you cry later or ever-after.
answered Feb 21, 2013 by escort (195 points)
0 like 0 dislike
I have never thought to do with my best friend as i fear to loose relationship but at the same time i never thought of having sex with her as by default such things dont come up.. but if got the opportunity i would want to try once for sure
answered Feb 22, 2013 by cyrusnasty (105 points)
commented Feb 22, 2013 by Invincible (12,550 points)

Try to elaborate your answer, the next time you post an answer. If you post one-liners, they would get converted to comments.

Editor.

1 like 0 dislike
There is a thick line between friendship and love. You are in no where.
The guy having lust for you and touching you in inappropriate manner, lets not call him best guy friend any more. A guy friend donenot cross that limit.
Now where are you, are you his lover or a time pass? He wants to go further on physical touch, but want to keep it as friend, that means you are not on love category as well. You fall in two definition,
1. You are a free **** who can be touched without any commitment, in other words, a time pass for him.
2. You are a future fuck-buddy of him. No commitment nothing, enjoy till you one, and break up which will cause heart ache for one.  
Don't be a fool and be used anymore, you have spoiled the friendship already, dont pretend to be one of those girls who spread legs for friends, but often ends up with a severe consequence where they cannot trust males anymore.
Anyway, if you intend to have sex, carry condoms on your own, don't assume this free loader will carry one. You have to protect yourself.
answered Feb 23, 2013 by Sumona (1,435 points)

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