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My girlfriend cheated me again :(

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asked Mar 1, 2013 in Questions by Mika (310 points)
edited Mar 1, 2013 by Invincible
I had asked a question on AA in November, as my girlfriend had confessed to me that she cheated me for my best friend. But later, she felt sorry for it and she told me about it. I accepted her back, feeling she loved me truely! She promised that she won't talk to him ever. I too trusted her (a lot). We were good till today, until she has confessd that she did that again!! She had been talking with that *** since December, again. And she's again feeling guilty! I'm completely crashed. She cried a lot and told me she really loves me and is apologizing for her '2nd' mistake. I love her a lot, but now trusting her again is very hard!

Help please.
commented Mar 1, 2013 by Mika (310 points)
moved Mar 1, 2013 by Invincible
Thanks fo ua precious views guys..!!
commented Mar 2, 2013 by troytoy (145 points)
dear mika, think twice if a girl is cheating & again confessing that dose'nt mean that she is the only culprit there must be something missing from ur side. mika think like a mature man+lover+best friend and then talk to her (as u have mentioned she could harm herself) .i understand as both of u r in ur teen age -ve thinking will strike ur minds first so bro just cool ur self and if u realy love her get into her, hope u understood
all the best bro
commented Mar 2, 2013 by Sumona (1,435 points)
Hi boy... so this is your question again. Seems like Ask Anjali blog is Dear Diary for you, everytime you get a slap, you are back here. Someone tells a few words of comfort, specially all the reply gave a practical view, but the one you wanted to hear, you have selected as your best answer.  That says all about you and your question.
I recall on your earlier question you said both are 18 years old. Is that an age to understand reality that well? Do you really understand? I guess not. A girl of that age is far advanced mentally than a boy.  A girl understand who likes her what is his soft spot and how to emotionally blackmail the guy much well. The naive guy keep falling for those feet again and again. This is not going to be any exception this time too, the same thing will repeat, I wish not, but I am sure about, and you will be back in next 2/3 months crying on that.
I know you are in love, but what love is that yet to understand. Looking at your face I could tell in 2 seconds what is it, whether you are hopelessly in love to do anything for this girl, or you are so ugly  that you feel honored to be in love.  Or the real reason is, you love this girl not because of her, its the feeling of being in love that you feel inside yourself which makes you run again and again. No matter how she acts or does whatever behind your back, she knows all she have to do is cry and threat that she wont take food, you will run again to pacify because you love that feeling of loving someone.
You are a student now,  by next three years you will still be studying and  her parents will find a suitable guy. What will you do or can do? Nothing. Again post another question here what do I do. What worries me is after calls you are not waking up, if you are, cannot smell the coffee and get things in order. Thats what a clumsy person does.
Be realistic, grow up and get ready for getting a slap very soon. Don't blame anyone but yourself, you deserve that.  Even if you have a future, which I doubt, you would remain as a cuckold, where your this girl as wife knows all the soft-spots how to play the strings, and like a puppet you will keep dancing.
Please don't bother to reply me on this, we have come across this hard world seeing and learning lots of things.
commented Mar 2, 2013 by pussycat (3,855 points)
I agree with you Sumona. She is a cheater Once a cheater cheater for ever. He is going to learn it in ahrd way may be next time may be another time.

 

My advice to him is bang her brain out as much as you can. Enjoy yourself and treat her like a fuck buudy, she may be a good fuck but not a marriage material. Dont allow her to play with your emotions. This advice may seems hard but will benefit you in future.
commented Mar 2, 2013 by Mika (310 points)
I dont know whether I'v done right or wrong. I know my this decision will bring negative reviews from all,but yeah,I have her back!
Maybe you are right,Sumona,maybe she knows the soft spots,but she's got them too! And i know when and how to trigger! And yeah,i got a future. A bright one. Sorry for being rude,but that was the worst line in your reply! Still thanks for your reply!
commented Mar 2, 2013 by Sumona (1,435 points)
@pussycat, you are right. These are fuck-buddy material, not a marriage material.
@mika, I didnot say you dont have a future, I meant this relationship has no future. And let me correct you, at 19 you are simply immature like any 19 year old. A guy of 19 and girl of 19 has huge difference in there practical sense of life. You may know her soft-spot, but at 19 a guy is crippled on carnel desire, cant play with mind on softspot as a 19 year old girl can.
Being a girl I am teaching you these tricks because I hate to see people get hurt for being naive. If you were a crook, I wouldnot add a single line.
commented Mar 2, 2013 by Mika (310 points)
@sumona:Ok,a fuck buddy,right? Let me tell you,the last time we met was 2 months ago. Since 2 years,we may have met 5-6 times,that too just like for 20-30 mins,and that too in public. Kissed 2-3 times. So let the bed in a corner. Not being rude,but getting physical at 18,isn't a bit ridiculous??
commented Mar 2, 2013 by Rajashah (290 points)
I think bro she is playing
Cheating at once and then apologizing is right but at cheating again leads to playing a persons feelings and emotions
Even i cant completely blame her also there r some drawback content  in you also thats why she loses interest and tries to avoid you by cheating but maybe  from one corner of her heart she truly loves you
But i suggest to you that befriend with her dont get serious  best of luck
commented Mar 2, 2013 by Sumona (1,435 points)
As I said, no point spoiling time talking to people who doesnot have any idea on the world beyond books. My assumption is not wrong, you are in love with the feeling of loving someone, that's not close to real love.
And sex at age 18, you are worried? I had my first sex before 16, I dont repent, I was very much ready in body and mind.



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5 Answers

3 like 1 dislike
 
Best answer

The term you should’ve probably used shouldn’t be cheated. She hasn’t cheated on you, but she has kind of filled the void but yet, for the amount of love she has for you, she couldn’t conceal this and had confessed this to you. I remember your earlier post and you mentioned she is a 20yr old girl, so she might be finding it difficult to manage these 2 at a same time.

You said you live at a place away from her, so it would be hard to spend her days alone and she must’ve merely chatted up with him a few times, thats it. If she had really cheated or even thought to cheat you, she would’ve done that long back and she wouldn’t have told you anything until you found out.

The options are pretty clear, if you love her and believe she loves you, accept her (I recall saying the same, the last time) no matter what and make sure you get to her by immediately finishing your studies or take small breaks and try visiting her and tell her in a comforting way to not talk to him, she will understand. If you don’t like to trust her and accept her again, leave her and go on.

I think she would get down with a little one-on-one time, so meet her and try to be close to her at times when you get time from your studies.

answered Mar 1, 2013 by Invincible (12,550 points)
selected Mar 1, 2013 by Mika
commented Mar 1, 2013 by Mika (310 points)
Invincible, i didnt say she is 20..she is 18 and i'm 19.
And I'm sorry if i ever mentioned her 20.
commented Mar 1, 2013 by Invincible (12,550 points)

Well that explains everything, be it 18 or 20, you guys are probably not mature enough to understand the heights of your relationship. Just try to spend some time with her letting her know what is good and bad and she might do just fine, and if you think she isn't good for you, leave her.

3 like 0 dislike
as far as i can tell if you take her back she will do it again, i dont know whether she realizes it herself or not but she is using you, she knows you love her and you will take her back and she uses this against you, maybe not on purpose but either way she should learn to control her desires and lust , she has cheated on you again so that means she gave in to her desires, maybe she is not ready to get committed yet or maybe she counting on the fact that you will take her back either way you are going to be the victim so i say give you relationship a break , if she still wants maybe you can give it second chance but for now you need to give the relationship a break.
PS-in the end ill end with a quote "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me" think about it and be careful
answered Mar 1, 2013 by parik89 (2,190 points)
commented Mar 1, 2013 by Mika (310 points)
And bro,i used that line haa!!;)
3 like 0 dislike
To Mika, at my point of veiw your Gf just use u for her next option as a stepney. Belive me next time she may be try ones for your friends and when again he broke her emotion, she come by crying and confess u again. So by my suggestion just leave her and search new good Gf because she break ur trust 2 times and who give u a garantee that she do nt break ur trust no. 3-4 or 5 etc. Last openion is your so BEST OF LUCK.
answered Mar 1, 2013 by Unseenguy (230 points)
commented Mar 1, 2013 by Unseenguy (230 points)
moved Mar 1, 2013 by Invincible
Mika my best suggestion for u is hack her mobile than u knw everything abt her like incoming and outcoming calls record live, sms chat, online chat like fb and email etc. I knw 1 website that give u this service by paid subscription.
2 like 0 dislike
When we do mistakes again and again then it becomes our habit.
I think its in her habit now and she knows that in the end you gonna forgive her. And please don't mind, what kind of guy you are that you can't check on her after 1st time that if she is doing it again or not. You must be ignoring her or not giving her proper time.

I think this time either you should leave her or if you don't wanna do then atleast make her feel like that you have left her, take your time and see what she can do to get you back again. If she really shows great effort then she is still yours or else forget her or gift her to your friend happily.
answered Mar 1, 2013 by kanishka (290 points)
commented Mar 1, 2013 by Mika (310 points)
Kanishka,
We both r miles away. She is at my native place and i m out for studies. So checking her is impossible. Thats the main prob. And yeah,i took a break from her,but she didnt eat food since morning and her sis called me n said,shez dyin for u and wud harm herself if i go away from her. So i've taken her back. And the fact stays that i only cant stay away from her!
2 like 0 dislike
Dear mika,

I belive that she is playing with your feeling and some were around the corner of your heart you also know the same. Its just that you dont want to accept the truth. So grow up bro.. a person who loves you does not repat the same mistake twice and thrice .So be brave and face the reality and get out of this dailema as more trust on her can only give  you more pain......... so dont shy away from the reality and move on in life....;

Regards
young boy2
answered Mar 1, 2013 by youngboy2 (290 points)

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