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How to help my wife get her love? [closed]

3.8K views
asked Mar 27, 2013 in Questions by Gopikrishnan (120 points)
closed Apr 11, 2013 by Invincible

My name is GK, age 35 married for 10 yrs and having a kid of 5 yrs, wife 30yrs of age, good looking & homely woman, loves me very much.

She is a woman who expects lots of care, love, family support etc but unfortunately for her,  she was not able to get 
family support through me or even from my dad and mom since I am in a business and I actually get a lot of work to catch up. I care and love her very much but I did not expect what my wife told me 10 days back.

Let me come to the point, she is in love with her close friend's husband who is bold, strong, caring, lovable, cares so much for his entire family. I know him very well too, to explain him by my means " He is a Gentleman & Man of Character" by all means.

I happened to see her mobile once and saw many number of calls to him talking for 10 to 15 mins. daily, which I didn't mind due to his good character. Last month when I was on a Business Trip to Bombay for 5 Days, she compelled him to take her outside, everyday, which he denied completely, but on 5th day they went outside for an Exhibition going on in the city. She threatened him that she will commit suicide if he doesn't come. For this sake he said yes and asked her to come 5 Kms by bus and went there by his bike and while returning around 9 pm he took an auto and followed it till home, to prove his decency. In that Exhibition she expressed her love to him for the second time which he again advised this is wrong and not good to cheat your husband.

Coming to the Point, I found these by myself and she herself narrated with some big fights, issues, etc...for 5 days. That time I felt very depressed and bad.

But I realized her love for me also. To be frank I permitted her love for him as it will do no harm. For the past 3 days I was talking to her about her feelings and love. She admitted that she even wants to have sex with him at-least once to prove her love to him and so that he cannot leave her anytime.

Now please somebody tell me what to do at this level, whether to say to YES to her SEX emotions or No? If Yes how to convince him to have sex with my wife, which he will not accept at any time as per my calculations?

Waiting for the valuable suggestion......
G K.

closed with the note: Old enough to close, doesn't need new answers.
featued question
commented Apr 25, 2013 by princeavin (155 points)
edited Apr 25, 2013 by princeavin
Dude, I am sorry to say you this... you're on wrong path & If things happen in the way you and your wife thought... It will damage both of you & that guy's entire family system... will create & fill nuisance in the life's of people around your both families.

Dude, you must understand life is not at all about making money & more money. Will you take the money you earn after death? No.

So, please stop being like a machine and must behave like a human... If you could spend good amount of time daily with your wife & family... why would they look after others to fulfill or satisfy their emotional needs?

Dude, Whats your problem to spend good time with your wife & family?
when you understand... what they(wife & family) needs, why won't you give it to them?

Our Human Life is all about "Emotions" which strengthens relationship between 2 peoples hearts. People need these "Human Emotions" to live life happily & peacefully. your family lacks these "Human Emotions" and they are demanding these... then, why won't you give them by yourself & why you want to depend on some one else to fulfill these needs. Dude, Remember my words "If there aren't 'Human Emotions' there will be no difference between US(Humans) & Animals."

Dude, If you went in your way... She asked her friends husband for emotion & sex needs today... If she wants to have some other man tomorrow & some other man day-after tomorrow... Is there any guarantee "SHE" will not ask like that (or) It will not happen? No.
More over, think of What will people say about her, you & all your family... they will call with "bad names". pls, realize it even now.

Please don't disturb/spoil that "Gentleman" Family Life. I understood you... as a good husband you want to give her a toy which she asked you like a baby. But, here the toy is a Man like you, who have his wife & own family consists of their lovely kids.

Dude, I am a frank, fair & open-hearten guy. Sorry If I Hurt You... My Words might be strong & rough... But, I want to help you and do good to you in long-term.

Think, think & think before taking a good decision. Remember, the decision you're going to make will influence of lives of people around your family.

 Take care, All The Best

Regards,
Avinash



5 Answers

2 like 0 dislike

Your wife of 10yrs, whom you love and the mother of your child is in love with her friends husband and wants to have sex with him ‘at least once for him to know how much she loves him’ and you’re completely okay with this? Is she your wife or your friend or close associate or your sister? No matter how broad minded a guy is I can never in my wildest dreams come to terms with accepting a guy accepting his wife’s love for some other guy.

If your wife wished to have sex with him, it would be understandable owing to your constant absence and his manly presence around her and the attraction etcetera, but I seriously am confused as to your reaction and your acceptance of her love towards another guy. Women who engage in EMA’s/EMS come back to their husbands at the end of the day owing to some reason, say affection, care, or other reasons, but a woman expressing her love for another guy in front of her husband and the husband completely okay with it is disgusting.

A love less marriage is worse than a marriage with either partners cheating behind the spouses back. I suggest you talk to your wife about divorcing her, because you’ve failed in providing her what she yearns for, and loves. If at all you’re willing to change yourself, show her you can love her the way she wants you, remind her how awesome you can be if you really want to save your marriage. Earning money and looking to your family’s every demand might make you an ideal husband and father but for your marriage it is a constant struggle.

Since you said she loves you, talk to her as to what you’re willing to do for her to save your marriage. Tell her that she cannot stay content with you by having love for that guy. Let her know you’re ready to change for good and provide her the confidence that you can love her the way she deserves to be loved. Involving that poor guy will not just spoil your married life but also his happy married life with his perfect family. Let your wife know what she is doing with her eyes closed in love. Communicate with her as much as you can and don’t leave her alone. What good does money do to you with your family not getting the love they need from you?

Revive your marriage, remind her all the memories you’ve cherished with her all these years, tell her you’re ready to do it all over again. Get close to each other, have sex with intimacy, make love and for some time, get out of your hectic lives to rediscover your lost love.

answered Mar 27, 2013 by Invincible (12,550 points)
3 like 0 dislike
Your story-line is quite interesting, good for a sex story.  But in real life, on two cases it happens. One is there is no love left between you two, or second is you are no longer a man.
A man's responsibility is to look after his woman, in good time or bad time. A man stays capable to keep his woman physically and mentally happy. By looking for a way to let your wife sleep with another guy, you are proving only one thing, you have no respect for your wife and the mother of your child.
Can you guess how many complications are ahead of you? She already feel the mental attachment with this guy, one time sex as you say, this can be the begining of an end. This can spoil two families, you may end up as a single father, if the talks gets nasty in court, you will end up hearing you are an impotent, you will be an active accomplice of a wrong act.
You are not in control of your family, nor your wife, nor your life even. If you think your job is to make sure your wife gets pleasure at anycost, hire some professional and make her feel the pleasure. But dont think of spoiling so many people's life.
She started something, but you are a cuckold who is going to pour kerosine on the little fire.
In my life, I dominate my man in number of ways, even I earn more than him, but when its the family, its he who is the man of the family, he takes all decision, and he is the head of the family. I never question on that, never even talk a bad thing about him.
A marriage is for two person committing to grow old together and spend old life in one another's company. The respect, love, trust and faith has to be there. By letting her have sex you may still keep the respect, but she would lose respect on you forever.  You are the man who couldnot save your family's dignity.  If you dont love her, close it now with a divorce and then let her do what she wants. Dont be a hypocrite and say you will get her to sleep with whomever she loves and cry out how much you love her.
Shame on you.
answered Mar 28, 2013 by Sumona (1,435 points)
commented Mar 28, 2013 by Unseenguy (230 points)
Sumona  jee, i 100% agree with your answer and i think if GOPIKRISHNAN follow your advice than he may able to save his and 2 families life.
commented Mar 28, 2013 by Blue Eyes (140 points)
Great answer sumona
0 like 0 dislike
It is clear that u r wife needs his love that u r unable to provide, atleast she is honest in saying that, orelse she could have easily done it without saying, just understand she is in love with the new man, if u not allow her she may do it behind ur back, so be kind to the request of ur wife, call this man home over a cup of tea and just tell the gentelman her wish and if they both agree then allow both of them to have sex. Ur wife will come back to u once she felt bored of this man.
answered Mar 28, 2013 by bardevolved (130 points)
commented Mar 29, 2013 by longhands1 (71,455 points)

bardevolved,

May we request you to use complete words, not SMS. We have no space constraints. Thanks.

0 like 0 dislike
If a person cannot judge what is right and what is wrong he is treading on a path of destruction.
Who are you? Don.t you have guts to control your family? Don.t you think this crossing of limits by your wife are calling havoc to you and that person.s life?
Wishes never dimnish.Desire gets motivated to grow as long as you try quench them.
Calmly sit and ponder over your own self.
answered Mar 29, 2013 by vivektripathi (125 points)
0 like 0 dislike
I would suggest you to not to think about how to get your wife in bed with that man. Try to take off from ur work and make love to her, and take her on a vacation. Because she is ur wife, its ur hindrance if she falls for some one else. Tell her u might accept it but u will be in pain. And the consequence of extra marital affair is never good, it will also effect the childs mentality.
answered Apr 11, 2013 by Serioussam (130 points)
commented Apr 18, 2013 by bukhari (285 points)
This is very common among couples, forbidden fruit is always charming. Men look for  short affairs with others during his marital life, whereas wife in Eastern culture look for extra love and care. Husband takes wife as granted partner and get himself busy with routine, whereas wife always seeking for attention. Even my wife had gone through same phase. She was working on a project when she was around 33, A male Personal Secretary around 25 was assisting her also driving her to visit sites. When project ended and wife working on some other project, he start calling her home and bringing gifts for her. He even called me and cried for her love. He wanted show me some proof. But I denied to see anything. I never showed any reaction to my wife. After couple months she got irritated of him. Confessed to me that she was got attracted to him because of his cares. Asked me to stop him visiting our home. That is what I did.

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